Defining Parameters
by Jordan Trevor
Summary: What if Voyager didn't return to New Earth until much later? How would Kathryn and Chakotay define parameters if given more time? This is a "slices of life" alternate timeline story based on "Resolutions."
1. Chapter 1

**Defining Parameters**

**Author's Note:** I wrote this story in 1997, and it was first printed in the fanzine _Delta Quadrant 5. _

She woke to the feel of a warm, bare back pressed against her cheek and chest; under the blankets, her legs were entwined with his. Strong, broad shoulders rose and fell with each deep breath, and she knew that he was sleeping. She'd grown very familiar with his sleep patterns in the past eight months, even more familiar in the last five weeks. He worked hard, he slept deeply, and he loved tenderly. Very tenderly.

Gently, she pressed her lips to the point of his shoulder blade, kissing the warm skin, inhaling the musky scent of him. She felt him stir, and she moved back slightly and turned as he rolled over in his sleep, his arms folding around her and drawing her close into his chest as he settled on his side, shielding her in his embrace, the sweet warmth of his breath tickling her neck.

She sighed and relaxed into his arms, feeling his chest press along her back, the steady rise and fall of each breath, the measured beat of his heart. Even as he slept, his hands and fingers unconsciously stroked her, touching her arms, smoothing down over her breasts and stomach. With another man, she might have suspected that he was partially awake, aware of the sensualness of his movements. But not this man. She knew he was sleeping, perhaps dreaming. And she found herself hoping that she was part of his dream, just as they were now integral parts of each other's lives.

She smiled as the strong, blunt fingers of his hand lingered on her breast, fingertips unconsciously caressing the lace of her nightgown. She had always thought of herself as a tactile person: a touch on the arm, a pat on a shoulder, her way of conveying warmth and assurance among her friends and crew. But the man who held her was truly tactile, with all things, in all situations. She'd watched and studied him for months now: the way he manipulated tools and cooking utensils, the way he handled the earth, the trees and flowers… and the way he touched her, with tenderness and love.

She curled in closer to him, covering his hands with hers, enjoying the feel of them on her body. She wanted these early morning moments to last forever. She wanted to watch the room turn pink, then orange with the approaching sunrise, watch the shadows in the corners recede as the familiar pieces of furniture solidified before her eyes. She'd grown accustomed to this view from their position on the floor, and as much as she loved the nest of blankets he made for them each night, she knew they needed a bed.

"Umm?" The sound murmured into her ear, warm and sleepy.

She felt the rhythm of his breathing alter slightly. She realized that she must have been thinking aloud. "We need a bed," she whispered, kissing his forearm.

"We have… beds," he sighed sleepily.

"We have separate beds," she reminded him, turning over carefully in his arms. She pressed her face to his chest, kissed his collar bones, and then his neck and the point of his chin.

His eyes were still closed, but the corners of his mouth drew up in a familiar grin. "That's a… very permanent request."

He felt her fingers brush through his hair, and the pressure of her body pushed him over onto his back. She rolled with him and his arms encircled her tighter, holding her on top of him. Their lips met in a deep kiss, an answer to unspoken questions.

"I'll start building one this morning," he murmured moments later when their lips parted, his eyes opening.

She traced her fingers along the line of his jaw. "Thank you, Chakotay." She gazed into his dark eyes, so deep and warm.

He gazed back for a few seconds, and then smiled and rolled over again, this time carefully taking her body beneath his. He nuzzled her neck and cheek, brushed the long brown hair away from her forehead. "You're welcome… Kathryn."

~vVv~

As promised, Chakotay began building a bed immediately after breakfast. He didn't use the computer to draw up any plans, but proceeded as if he'd already thought through the process.

Kathryn leaned against the table, her coffee cup cradled in her hands. She watched as he confidently gathered his tools. "You've been thinking about this already, haven't you?" she questioned him, a glint of exasperation touching her eyes. He was always a few steps ahead of her in matters of the heart.

He glanced over his shoulder at her, giving her an all too familiar boyish grin. "Let's just say I've been… hoping."

Her coffee had grown cold and she set down her cup, shaking her head in mock consternation. "And all this time, I thought you saw me as more than just…"

He put his tools on the shelf, crossed the room with purposeful strides, and wrapped his arms loosely around her hips. "As something more than… a woman to take to bed?" His lips almost pursed into another grin.

And Kathryn, after weeks of exploration, now knew that a hand, strategically placed against his ribs, could cause him to convulse with laughter. And he was asking for it, so she tickled him… unmercifully.

Chakotay gasped, a smile broadening across his face. He squirmed against her hands as they sought out his most sensitive areas along his ribs and under his arms. And since two could play this game, he fought back, fingers playfully digging into her ribs and stomach. But she was solid and had thus far withstood all of his attacks.

"This… isn't… fair," he gasped, successfully pulling away. "You're not ticklish." He held his hands out in front of him, trying to hold her at bay.

And she retreated, calmly striking a familiar pose, head held high, hands on hips. "No, I'm a captain," she answered, her expression completely serious.

Chakotay leaned against the table, catching his breath in deep lungfuls. "What?" he managed, his eyes wide with humor and curiosity.

"Captains aren't ticklish," she replied. "It's a requirement."

He nodded and sat back on the table, his legs swinging freely in front of him. Kathryn took a step closer, relaxing her stance and placing her hands on his knees.

"In case we're ever captured and tortured," she explained, her grey eyes twinkling. "Captains aren't allowed to be ticklish."

Chakotay grinned and wiped the back of his hand over his forehead. Tiny beads of sweat were gathered there. Kathryn reached up as well and brushed the perspiration away.

"I'm afraid you're out of shape, Commander," she chided. "You could never stand up to a full attack."

He shook his head. "No, I wouldn't." He noted the look in her eyes. "And let's not test that hypothesis. I admit my frailty openly and honestly. And besides," he gently pushed her back and hopped off the table, "if you want a real bed by tonight, I'd better get started."

He crossed back to the other side of the room and gathered his tools. "Any specifications?

She shrugged. "Surprise me."

"I always try." And he flashed her a smile as he walked outside.

Kathryn sighed. He did surprise her in some way. Every day. But what surprised her the most was herself. And the fact that she loved him.

And she did love him.

Very much.

And she knew he loved her. Had loved her for a long time. She remembered sensing his growing desire for her only weeks after they'd been on the planet. And now, months later, she realized that his love for her had been present long before that, only he'd kept it hidden in the everyday routine of life on a starship. The protocols of Starfleet and their positions as Captain and First Officer had been enough to conceal his inner feelings.

But here, on New Earth, together alone, there were no rules and regulations on which to rely. Although she had made a feeble attempt to suggest that they define some parameters, she now knew that it was her way of trying to hold onto a command structure in a situation where command was not an issue.

She could clearly remember Chakotay's reply, and the story he'd told her.

"_I'm not sure I can… define parameters." He shrugged slightly and the expression on his face reminded Kathryn of a small boy, trying to explain unfamiliar feelings._

_Chakotay drew in a breath and lowered his eyes for a moment, the tip of his tongue running across his upper lip. "But I can tell you a story." He looked back at her. "An ancient legend among my people."_

_He twisted the stylus he was holding in his fingers and took another short breath, pursed his lips, took a breath again._

"_It's about an angry warrior… who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe… A man who couldn't find peace, even with the help of his spirit guide."_

_He glanced away, dark eyelashes blinking. And then back._

"_For years he struggled with his discontent… but the only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle… This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself. One day, he and his war party… were captured by a neighboring tribe led by a woman warrior." He steadied his gaze on Kathryn. "She called on him to join her because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enemies. The woman warrior was brave and beautiful. And very wise."_

_He leaned back slightly in his chair, his tongue licking his lips again. His next words seemed almost heavier, as if they were solid building blocks, a foundation to a belief._

"_The angry warrior swore to himself… that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could… to make her burden lighter… From that point on, her needs would come first." His voice seemed to grow even calmer. "And in that way… the warrior began to know… the true meaning of peace."_

_Kathryn hesitated and then smiled. "Is that really… an ancient legend?"_

_Chakotay gazed at her, apprehension evident in his eyes, and then he smiled softly, looking down, allowing a boyish grin to crease across his face. He raised his eyes back to hers, his expression suddenly serious again._

_He took a deep breath. "No…" He exhaled. "But that made it easier to say."_

_Kathryn stared at him for long moments and then propped her elbow on the table, holding up her hand, spreading her fingers wide. And his hand met hers, his broad fingers lacing together with her slender ones. Gently, his thumb rubbed against her hand, and his dark, soulful eyes held hers in a meaningful gaze, the left corner of his lip almost lifting into another grin._

_And the moment they shared was warm and peaceful, no technical parameters, just a new understanding._

Kathryn looked down and was surprised to find the breakfast dishes in her hands. After seven months, the memory of Chakotay's story still held her in thrall, whether she was remembering it, or he was retelling it, as he had many times at her insistence. She loved listening to the sound of his voice, the simplicity of the words that carried so much meaning and love. And to know that he could have felt this way about her for the rest of their lives and never said a word had they not had to begin a new life on this planet together.

She walked over and deposited the dishes in the replicator, pushed a button and watched them disappear. She wondered if she would have ever known, if she would have noticed his loyalty or interpreted it as something more, something not defined by Starfleet rules. A First Officer defends his Captain. And she knew that Chakotay would lay down his life for her if necessary. And now, he was sharing his life with her, together, here on New Earth. And they were defining parameters as they went along, one day after the next.

Five weeks ago they had crossed the parameter that had frightened her the most. The one she'd been afraid of even considering seven months ago, let alone crossing. And yet, it hadn't been a surprise. It had been considered, and talked about, and even debated. And she had cried, remembering Mark and the love she still had for him. And Chakotay had held her, patient and caring, loving her and respecting her feelings, desires, and fears.

"_Shh, Kathryn, it's all right. It's all right." He rocked her gently in his arms, the evening air growing cool around them as the sun set beyond the hills._

_She shook her head and pushed away from his chest where her cheek had been pressed against his shirt. She drew in a ragged breath. "I'm… I'm afraid." Her voice cracked and she shivered._

_Chakotay drew her close again, his hands rubbing briskly along her arms, warming her. "I know. Afraid of letting go, afraid of holding on."_

_She swallowed convulsively around the lump in her throat. "It's a circle, isn't it?" She blinked up at him, and laughed softly when a broad, white smile creased his face._

"_You're asking a Native American if life is a circle?"_

_Her soft laughter choked into tears again, and he strengthened his hold on her._

"_It is a circle," he whispered, brushing his hand over her hair, his fingers resting against her flushed cheek. "And our life here is a very small circle. I remember the people that I love… my father, my mother, family, friends… I think about B'Elanna, and…" He drew in a deep breath, and Kathryn felt him tremble. "And Seska, and… the baby…"_

_Kathryn looked up and saw tears on his cheeks. She reached her hand up to touch them. Chakotay wrapped his fingers around hers, stopping her movement._

"_There are a lot of people with us on this circle. I know how much you miss Mark, how much you love him." He drew her hand to his lips and tenderly kissed her fingers. "You won't ever stop loving him. I know that. Just know that there's room on our circle for all of us."_

_She nodded and stroked her hand along his neck, gently pulling his head down to hers. "I love you," she murmured. It wasn't the first time she'd told him, but it was the first time she was sure of the words._

"_And I love you." He smiled through the tears flowing down his cheeks. "I will always love you."_

It had been the first night Chakotay had spread the blankets on the floor in the log room that he had built months earlier. He'd started a fire in the hearth and the flames had warmed them as they made love for the first time. To say it had been bittersweet was too much of a cliché, and yet, it had been. And often, still was. But she did love him. And she knew that would never change.

She turned around and surveyed the house. It was still small, but it was growing. The addition of the new room, with the fireplace and skylight, gave an airy quality to it. And everywhere she looked Chakotay had added personal touches: shelves, new pieces of furniture, his artwork. It was far more than a house now. It was their home.

_A home that needs a good dusting, _she decided. _And then I think I'll decide where we should put that bed._

~vVv~


	2. Chapter 2

"It's… beautiful," she breathed, her hands steepled in front of her face. She ran her fingers down along her chin and shook her head.

Chakotay had been busy in the log room all afternoon and had refused to let her watch him. And despite how tempting it had been to disobey his wishes, she hadn't. He had wanted to surprise her. And he certainly had.

The bed was breathtaking. Made from natural tree limbs, it reached almost to the ceiling, with a twisting canopy frame encircled with replicated green vines and purple flowers. He'd taken the mattresses from both of their single beds and seamed them into one. And he'd arranged the pillows and blankets on top. Instead of pushing the bed into a corner or against the wall, he'd positioned it in the middle of the room, directly under the skylight, in front of the fireplace. Just where she would have placed it.

He sat down heavily on the edge of the bed nearest the hearth. "This is your side," he said softly, his voice sounding weary.

In the fading light, Kathryn could see the creases of exhaustion on his face. She moved over and sat down beside him, her thigh pressed close to his. "We can share," she whispered.

Chakotay reached his hand over to hers, their fingers intertwining on top of her knee. His hand felt overly warm, and with immediate concern, she touched her other hand to his forehead.

"Chakotay! You're burning up."

He shook his head in denial. "I'm fine. Just tired."

"You're not fine."

She got up and disappeared into the other room, returning in a few moments with a medical kit. She set it on the bedside table and took out a tricorder.

"Kathryn…" He tried to push the tricorder away as she ran it over his body.

"Sit still," she instructed. "And that's an order," she added when she saw him start to protest.

"Uh-uh." He managed a crooked smile. "You can't give me orders."

"Under these circumstances, I can and will." It was definitely her captain's voice. She studied the tricorder readings. "You're sick, Chakotay."

He shook his head again and winced, the gentle movement stirring the beginnings of a headache. But still, he tried to negate the seriousness of her diagnosis. "It's… nothing. Just a cold." He stared up at her with fevered eyes.

And Kathryn silently chastised herself. She should have seen it coming. That morning, when he'd broken out in a fine sheen of perspiration just from her tickling him. And at lunch, when he'd played with his food instead of actually eating it. He'd said he wasn't hungry, that he was eager to get back to work. But she should have known.

"Don't go blaming yourself," he muttered, seeing the familiar look of responsibility lighting her eyes. "You didn't make me sick. It just happened. And… I'm sorry."

The look of concern on her face softened, and she rubbed a hand along his cheek. "It's not your fault."

He nodded. "I know. I'm just… sorry that the only thing… I'm planning on doing in this bed tonight is sleeping." He gave her an exhausted smile and lay back against the pillows.

Kathryn laughed and leaned over him. "You are a lousy host," she agreed, returning the tricorder to the kit and taking out a hypospray. She adjusted it and pressed it to Chakotay's neck. He winced slightly, and she rubbed her fingers over his skin. "That was something to help bring down your temperature. It's not terribly high, just enough to make you feel uncomfortable."

He gave her a slightly irritated look.

"And enough to make me overreact," she admitted. "I think you're right. The readings confirm an ordinary cold. But that could turn into flu symptoms if we're not careful. After all, as far as illnesses are concerned, we don't know what to expect on this planet." She placed the hypospray in the medical kit and then looked back at him. "So, as your doctor, I prescribe fluids and plenty of rest. Starting now."

Chakotay grinned weakly. "Your bedside manner is… definitely better… than the Doctor's." And then he sneezed.

"Bless you," Kathryn murmured. "And thank you. I'd like to think my manner is a little more personal than our beloved Emergency Medical Hologram."

Chakotay coughed slightly. "But I will miss Kes," he added, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh, no you won't," she assured him as she began to take of his shirt. "You haven't been nursed until you've been nursed by Kathryn Janeway."

Chakotay cocked an eyebrow at her, but chose to remain silent. He felt it might be safer that way. Probably not as much fun, but safer.

Ten minutes later, Kathryn had managed to change him into a pair of warm pajamas and tuck him in under a mass of blankets. He lay propped up against the pillows while she replicated a bowl of chicken soup.

"I'm sure it won't have the personal touch that Neelix would have added to it," she apologized as she came back and settled on the edge of the bed, "but I think it will do nicely."

He stared up at her. "I'm really not hungry, Kathryn," he murmured, shifting uncomfortably under the covers. One minute he was hot, and the next he was cold. And every now and then, all he wanted was to have her beside him.

"Is the bed comfortable?" she asked, as if reading his thoughts.

He sighed in frustration. "If I didn't have a fever, and if you were lying beside me, I think it would be wonderful. But since I do, and you're not, it isn't."

Kathryn shook her head and smiled. "That's one thing I like about you, Chakotay. You're so… succinct." She lifted a spoonful of soup to his mouth. "Now, try this."

"Kathryn…" he started to protest.

"Um-um. Don't talk," she insisted, pushing the spoon past his closed lips.

He swallowed despite his protests, the liquid trailing down his throat and warming his chest and stomach. He smiled slightly.

"Tastes good, doesn't it?" She gazed at him with a look of smug satisfaction on her face.

He nodded, too tired to argue. She fed him another spoonful.

"I thought you might like it. I know you prefer mushroom, but I don't think it has the same healing qualities."

He closed his eyes and then opened them. "I am sorry," he whispered, staring up into her eyes. She was so beautiful. "I… I want you, Kathryn."

She lowered the spoon back to the bowl, a slight frown crossing her face. "Chakotay…"

"No, that's not what I mean," he cut her off, realizing that he must sound like a man who only had one thing on his mind. "I mean… I do want you… I…" He felt as if he were digging the hole deeper.

And thankfully, she helped him climb out.

Touching her fingers to his forehead, she whispered, "I know what you mean." Her frown faded away, replaced with an expression of understanding.

"I just… I wanted to hold you tonight, and now…" He gave her a defeated look. "You're feeding me soup."

"Hey," she rubbed one finger along the lines of his tattoo, "we'll have plenty of nights to lie in this bed holding each other. I promise. Now stop worrying and get some rest. I'm going to light the fire and go get a chair and curl up with a good book. I'll be right here if you need me."

She started to pull her hand away, but he took hold of it, and kissed her palm. "I need you, but I think I can sleep as long as you don't go too far."

"Good." She leaned over and placed a kiss on his forehead. "I feel the same way about you."

~vVv~

He tossed and turned. And he dreamed. Disjointed dreams of his life before _Voyager_, on _Voyager_, and his life here. The separate worlds seemed to mix together, and he saw himself on the bridge, sharing a knowing smile with the captain, and then turning away and seeing Seska. And then he was on the Maquis ship, hurtling toward a Kazon vessel, and then the tingling sensation of the transporter beam, and then the sudden pain in his leg as it shattered on the falling metal stairs on the Ocampa homeworld.

And then, soft sounds of assurance and a gentle touch to his forehead caused him to stir awake, his eyes opening to a dimly lit room, the reflection of firelight on the walls, distant stars shining through the ceiling above.

"Shh, Chakotay. You're all right. I'm here."

Kathryn sat next to him on the edge of the bed, gently bathing his face and neck with a warm, damp cloth. He was freezing cold, but the cloth felt good. He tried to speak, but his teeth felt as if they were actually chattering, and he couldn't form the words.

"Shh, I know," she whispered, her fingers running through his hair, massaging his scalp. The gentle pressure helped him relax. "Lots of dreams, nightmares. But you're safe. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

He swallowed and nodded, his eyes holding hers for a few seconds before he closed them. And he fell, back into images and memories of long ago. But this time, she was beside him, and he wasn't alone.

~vVv~

He woke to the sound of birds outside and soft, gentle breathing issuing from the chair next to the bed. He turned over onto his side and stared at the woman curled under a blanket, a book propped precariously over one leg. He didn't see how she managed to sleep in such an awkward position, and he felt guilty for the comfort of the bed on which he was lying. Not for the first time, he wished she were snuggled next to him. Sure, she might catch his cold, but odds were she would come down with it anyway. After all, he'd just kissed her the morning before. She was probably already infected. And as he was fond of saying, misery loved company.

Surprisingly, however, he didn't feel as miserable as he had the night before. Either the hypospray or the chicken soup had done the trick, for he felt much stronger, and he didn't feel overly cold or hot, which he thought was probably a good sign. He did feel slightly uncomfortable though, a definite pressure in his lower abdomen. A quick trip to the bathroom would help relieve that.

Quietly, he pushed back the many blankets that covered him, and shivered slightly as the cool, early morning air hit his body. He felt grimy and sweaty, and he realized that his fever had probably broken sometime in the night. He longed for a hot bath or even a sonic shower, but when he gained his footing, he still felt a bit weak and dizzy. He braced himself against the edge of the bed as he moved toward the bathroom.

He didn't hear her get up, but suddenly felt an arm wrap around his back, and a hand supporting him under the shoulder.

"I would ask where you're going, but I think I know," she said softly, leading him toward the bathroom.

"I can make it on my own," he insisted, glancing over at her. She was amazingly beautiful for a woman who had just spent the night doubled up in a chair.

She shook her tousled brown hair back behind her shoulders. "No you can't." And she gave him that look that let him know that she knew. And he always wondered how she knew, but she did.

He sagged against her. "All right. Maybe I can't. Thanks for helping."

"Think nothing of it."

A few moments later, they reached the bathroom and she released him. "Hold on to the walls, and I think you'll be all right."

He nodded and moved away from her, into the small room, each step slow and unsteady.

"Call for me if you fall in," she laughed, leaning against the door frame.

"That could be a possibility," he replied, steadying his hand against the bathroom wall.

From the corner of his eye, he could see her standing in the doorway, keeping watch over him. Her presence was comforting, and he took care of business as quickly as possible so that he could rejoin her.

When he emerged from the bathroom, she immediately slipped her arms back around him, warm hands pressing into his shoulders. "I think you're looking a little better this morning," she observed as they made their way back into their new bedroom.

"I feel better," he said, only slightly out of breath.

Kathryn eased him back onto the bed and helped him slip his legs under the blankets. She reached over, retrieved the tricorder from the medical kit, and scanned him. "You should be feeling better," she remarked, with a sigh of relief. "According to this, your temperature is back to normal."

"Good." He smiled and gave her the impression that he wasn't going to stay put for long.

She set the tricorder on the bedside table. "But," she continued, placing a hand firmly on his shoulder, "I think a day in bed would be advisable."

"I'm not sick," he insisted, shaking his head.

"No, but you're still weak." She rubbed her other hand over his forehead. "And I've got to get you strong. Chances are you'll have to take care of me when I come down with your cold."

He grinned slyly. "That is a possibility, isn't it?"

She nodded, giving him a grin of her own. "Um-um. Especially since you kissed me yesterday morning."

He snapped his fingers. "I knew there was something missing to my morning."

She leaned over and kissed his forehead. "That's all you get for now."

"You're cold, Kathryn Janeway," he said with a frustrated sigh.

"Just call me Ice Woman," she laughed. "Now, I think I'll go prepare us some breakfast."

He watched as she disappeared into the next room. And suddenly, the bed felt too big and lonely. A peculiar feeling washed over him.

"Kathryn?"

"Just a minute."

"Kathryn?" he called again, the tone in his voice more intense.

She appeared in the open doorway. "I'll be there in a minute. I'm trying to fix breakfast."

"I'm not hungry… just come sit with me."

She came into the room and over to the bed, sensing that something was wrong. She sat down beside him, her hand resting on his blanket-covered knee, her eyes studying the expression on his face. "What is it?" she whispered.

And he suddenly felt foolish and childish for missing her. She'd only been in the next room for a few seconds, but still…

"I, um… I'm lonely without you," he admitted, his head tilting forward, eyes focused on the blanket that covered him. "I think… it has something to do with the fact that there's just the two of us. Everything seems bigger. Even loneliness."

He felt her hand touch the back of his neck, caressing the tight, tense muscles. "I know what you mean. I was so lonely last night, watching you sleep, and not being able to hold you. I couldn't help thinking what if…" She hesitated, swallowed deeply.

Chakotay looked up, saw the tears that had gathered in her eyes. He reached out and took hold of her hand. "I'm right here, Kathryn."

She nodded. "I know. But I still kept thinking that… you might not always be here. If something happened to you…"

"Or you," he whispered.

Their hands tightened and their eyes locked on to each other. And then Chakotay moved over in the bed and lifted the blankets. "Since that kiss probably infected you anyway, I could use some company," he suggested.

Kathryn smiled and crawled under the covers beside him. She snuggled into his arms. "What about breakfast?" she murmured.

He held her tightly. "Maybe later. I have all that I need right now."

~vVv~


	3. Chapter 3

Chakotay grew stronger throughout the day. And thankfully, Kathryn remained healthy.

"What does this say about my immune system?" he groused as they cleared away the dinner dishes.

Kathryn smiled. Why was it that men could never accept illness? They always saw it as a flaw in their makeup.

She took the bowl he handed her and gave him a speculative look. "Oh, I think it says that your immune system is entirely inadequate when compared to a female's, and that the man is definitely the weaker of the two sexes."

He stared at her, his mouth falling open in surprise. And then he smiled and shook his head, growing wise to her ploy. "I'm being obsessive, aren't I?"

She nodded. "Just a bit." She laughed softly and stepped closer to him. "You had a slight cold, and now you're better. That's all. Not the end of our world by any means."

He sighed. "I just… I just want to be strong for you." There was a touch of anger in his voice, not at her, but at himself.

She gazed into his eyes. "Chakotay, you are. You're my… warrior, remember?"

He smiled slightly. "I guess I still get a little angry now and then."

"So do I. But not at you." She placed her hand on his cheek. "You help me to understand the meaning of peace more every day, do you know that?"

He covered her hand with his. "I know," he whispered. "It's all part of the circle." And he drew her into his arms and held her.

~vVv~

He held her through the night, and she rested in his embrace, relieved that he was recovering from his illness so quickly. The warmth of his body against hers was natural and familiar, no trace of fever remaining. And as she watched the stars through the skylight gathering in the blackness above, she remembered the first time he'd held her: during the plasma storm, huddled under the table, while furniture and equipment toppled around them. He'd drawn her close to him, his arms and body protecting her, his hand rubbing her shoulder. And when the storm was over, and her world was virtually spread on the floor around them, he held her closer while she cried.

"_It's gone," she mumbled, looking around from their position under the table. "All my research, my equipment."_

_She felt him shake his head._

"_Some things may have been spared," he offered, his voice seemingly as strong as the arms that still held her._

"_No," she breathed, reaching out and touching the protein analyzer that lay broken in front of them. Even without examining it closer, she could tell it was beyond repair. "I have to have this, or I can't…" Her voice trailed off, and she felt hot tears on her cheeks._

"_Perhaps it can be repaired," he suggested._

"_No." Her eyes moved across the floor; specimen bottles were shattered, DNA sequencers appeared to be twisted out of shape, and the insect traps she'd been preparing earlier were ruined. "It's gone."_

_The tears were falling rapidly now, silently. She was shaking inside, more so now than she had been during the storm. The fear, like aftershocks, grabbed hold of her. And Chakotay pulled her close into his shoulder while she cried, his hands warm and solid on her back. She felt lost and hopeless. But in the security of his embrace, she did not feel alone._

"Hey, what's wrong?" A low voice breathed beside her.

She felt a finger brush over her face, wiping at the wetness on her cheek. She blinked back the tears that she suddenly realized she was crying and shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. I'm… I'm fine."

In the dim illumination cast from the stars through the skylight, she could see Chakotay lying beside her, his face even with hers on the pillow. Dark, knowing eyes fastened to her grey ones.

"Remember who you're talking to? It's me," he reminded her with a gentle smile.

"And who else would it be?" she laughed slightly, despite her tears. "I told the milkman to stop coming around."

"Good. You saved me from having to beat him up." He leaned closer and kissed her forehead. "Now, tell me what's wrong. What have you been remembering?"

Somehow he always knew. She couldn't be trusted to lie awake at night and not remember. How she wished she could be more like him. She knew that he spent more time looking forward than he did looking back. But perhaps that's the way it should be. This way, they were a balance for each other. A keeper of yesterdays, and a planner of tomorrows.

She snuggled closer into his arms, and he readily accommodated her. It still amazed her how her body fit so perfectly next to his. And she silently chided herself for analyzing everything. She knew Chakotay didn't. The fact that they fit together was not something that he placed under scientific examination; he merely accepted it. It was as natural to him as breathing.

"Tell me," he whispered.

"I was just… thinking of the first time you held me."

"During the storm."

"Um-um." She reached up and gently traced her fingers over the tattoo on his forehead, then along his eyebrow. "I never said thank you."

He smiled as her fingers brushed down around his lips. "You didn't have to."

"I should have."

"Why?"

She frowned slightly. He wasn't making this easy. "Rules of etiquette. When someone holds you, under a table, during a plasma storm, an expression of gratitude should be forthcoming. If not a thank you note, then at least a well-placed word of appreciation."

He nodded. "I see."

"So… thank you." She pressed her lips to his cheek in a soft kiss.

He didn't respond for several silent moments, and she felt her heart begin to beat in tandem with his.

And then he whispered in her ear. "You're welcome."

~vVv~

"You sniffled."

The accusation came from the opposite side of the table, and Kathryn looked up from the plate of food that she'd been staring at for the past five minutes.

"I beg your pardon?" she asked distractedly, not realizing that he'd been carefully studying her for the entire meal.

"I think you're finally coming down with my cold. You sniffled," Chakotay explained with a slight, comforting grin.

She shook her head. "Oh, no. I didn't… sniffle."

His grin broadened into a smile. "The next thing you'll tell me is captains don't sniffle."

"We don't," she agreed. "We're not ticklish and we don't sniffle. It's just part of the regulations." She pushed a strand of wayward hair back over her shoulder. "And besides, it's been almost a week. If I were going to get your cold, I would have gotten it already."

Chakotay pursed his lips in thought and inclined his head. "So, you're an expert of colds now?"

Kathryn's eyes flashed at him. "I am a scientist."

"But not a doctor," he countered.

She fixed him with a steady gaze. "Chakotay, I can assure you that… that…" The sneeze caught her by surprise, and though she tried to suppress it, she couldn't.

She opened her eyes to find Chakotay's arm extended across the table, a tissue held in his hand. With a sigh of exasperation, she took it and wiped at her nose.

"Perhaps I'm just allergic to something."

Chakotay leaned back in his chair and gave her a look of tender amusement. "We've been here eight months, Kathryn. If you were allergic to something in the environment, don't you think we would have realized it by now?"

"It could be a new pollen in the air," she proposed. And then the serious expression on her face folded into an exhausted smile. "But it's probably not."

"Why don't you let me tuck you into bed and bring you some hot tea?" Chakotay suggested.

"No… I have too much work to do. I want to finish cataloging the new plant species I found along the river."

Chakotay rose from his chair and circled around the table. His hands rested on her shoulders, large fingers massaging tired, tight muscles. "I think that can wait."

Kathryn exhaled a long breath and leaned back against him. "A neck massage will not always get you what you want."

"But it usually does," he murmured, hands working at the knots in her neck and shoulders. "And right now, I want you in bed, resting."

"All right." She rolled her head back against his arms. "But first, you'll finish the massage?"

Chakotay leaned closer and kissed the top of her head. "For you, anything."

~vVv~

He carried her to bed, helped her into her pajamas, and sat with her while she sipped at a cup of hot spiced tea. Despite his expert massage, her body felt stiff, the muscles tired and heavy. Her eyes were watery, and the sneezes came more frequently. Chakotay made sure she had a generous supply of tissues on the bedside table. He'd already scanned her with the medical tricorder, and the readings confirmed their suspicions. She had the same cold he'd had the week before.

"Perhaps we should name it after you," Kathryn mumbled around the tissue in her hand.

Chakotay laughed and ran his hand along her forehead, pushing back damp curls of hair. "No, thank you. But since we haven't named the river yet…" His voice trailed off in an open-ended suggestion.

She lowered the tissue from her face and accepted the teacup he was holding for her. "The Chakotay River," she grinned.

"It has a ring to it. It sounds very Native American… very natural."

"Coming from you, Nature Boy, it would."

He smiled at her use of his private nickname. It was a name from his past that he'd often used when thinking to himself. But in the past eight months, he'd fallen into the habit of thinking out loud. And she'd picked up on it.

"Well, if you have a better suggestion, you let me know."

"The Janeway River," she shot back immediately.

"I saw that one coming. But I think we should reserve your name for the first road we build."

Confusion clouded her eyes. "Road…" And then she frowned in mock disapproval, shaking her head. "The Jane Way?"

"Works for me."

She groaned at the play on words and pushed her teacup back into his hand. "You know, you were right. I really do need to rest."

Chakotay nodded and got up from the side of the bed. "I'll check on you later," he promised, leaning down and kissing her cheek. "You sleep well."

Kathryn reached out and grabbed hold of his empty hand. "You'll be back? I mean… I don't want you sleeping in a chair tonight. I think once you've had this cold, you can't get it again."

He stared down at her, a smile working its way from his eyes to his mouth. "Is that your scientific evaluation?"

"No. But I don't want to sleep alone." Her eyes searched his face in the dim light.

He squeezed her hand in his. "Don't worry. I'll be back. I don't like sleeping alone either."

~vVv~

She groaned slightly when Chakotay slipped into bed beside her. He curled his body around hers and rubbed a hand along her arm.

"Shh," he whispered, pulling the blankets tightly around them, feeling the warmth of her body against his.

"Chakotay?" she murmured.

"Go back to sleep. It's late."

She pushed closer into his embrace. "I'm glad you're here."

"Hey," he kissed her cheek, "I keep my promises. Now go to sleep."

And she did.

And so did he.

~vVv~


	4. Chapter 4

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Chakotay leaned in the doorway, staring at her.

She looked up and smiled at the sleepy expression on his face. "I'm making breakfast," she replied cheerily.

He shook his head. "But I'm supposed to be making you breakfast. In bed."

"Oh, that's a good trick." She winked at him. "How do you manage to make breakfast without leaving the bed?"

"Very funny," he complained, crossing over to the kitchen area and taking a pan out of Kathryn's hand. "In case you've forgotten, you're sick."

She shrugged. "But I feel fine this morning." She took his other hand in hers and held it to her forehead. "See. No fever. It must be a twenty-four hour thing."

Chakotay nodded and laughed slightly, his eyes focused on the ceiling. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" she asked, stealing the pan away from him and continuing with her cooking.

He gazed back at her. "Nothing keeps you down for long, does it?"

She ran a free hand over his chest. "Not unless I want to be kept down. Now," she patted his shoulder, "hand me one of those eggs or I'll never finish these omelets."

Chakotay sighed and did as he was told. He'd discovered in the past eight months that sometimes is was much easier to go along with Kathryn Janeway.

She took the egg from him and cracked it on the side of the pan. She saw the worry in his eyes. "I'll make a deal with you?" she offered.

"What?"

"Since you're worried about me, I'll let you clean up. All right?"

Chakotay laughed.

And she smiled. "I'll take that as a yes."

~vVv~

He let her finish breakfast, but he insisted that she take it easy for the rest of the day. That meant no hikes into the forest, or along the river. No climbing to the top of the hills and scanning for various bird species. No working in the garden. And no cleaning up the house.

"Just what am I supposed to do?" she protested as Chakotay helped her settle into a lounge chair in the yard.

"I brought you this." He held out a data padd. "_Wuthering Heights_, by Emily Bronte."

"You want me to read?" She looked at him incredulously.

"And why not?" he replied. "You made me read last week while I was recuperating."

"But I have so much to do," she argued.

"Nothing that won't wait until tomorrow."

Reluctantly, she took the padd out of his hands. "And what are you going to be doing while I'm… forced to relax?"

"Well, I thought I'd weed the garden, and paint that table in the bedroom, and then finish weaving that rug."

She looked up at him. "You won't be far away?"

He glanced around. "Well, let's see. I think the garden is about four meters from here. And I was going to bring the table outside and put it under that tree while I paint it." He squinted to his right. "And that's about, oh, I'd say six meters away. And since the rug is fairly small, and could probably sit right here and work on it. So, what do you think?" He gazed back down at her. "Too far?"

She smiled and felt her cheeks grow warm with embarrassment. "I guess not," she admitted. "Just as long as I can see you."

He leaned over and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Well, don't spend too much time watching me because I'm going to expect a report on that book at supper tonight."

"That's not fair," she teased. "I didn't make you do a report."

"Only because you didn't think of it. Now, as your First Officer, I like to show initiative and originality in my thinking."

Kathryn reached out and grabbed hold of his hand. "I'll make sure and put a commendation in your file."

"You'd better."

~vVv~

"Chakotay?" she whispered.

And he looked up from the rag rug on his lap. "Umm?"

"Look." She pointed in front of them. "It's George."

Chakotay had named their primate friend several months ago. The name came from a character in a childhood book, _Curious George_. Kathryn could remember reading that one as well. She kept threatening to make Chakotay a yellow hat.

She leaned forward in her chair, holding her hand out to the primate. "Hello, George," she said. "Long time, no see."

"I was afraid he'd moved," Chakotay chuckled, leaning forward as well.

"What, and not leave a forwarding address?" Kathryn said. "You wouldn't do that, would you, old friend?"

The monkey chattered at them, stretching his arms above his head.

Kathryn looked up at the sky. "No plasma storms today," she noted gratefully, remembering the time the animal had come to warn her about he first storm they'd encountered on the planet.

"I think he just came to show off," Chakotay offered.

The monkey came a little bit closer.

"He's getting brave," Kathryn observed.

"Either that, or he wants to share the house with us."

Kathryn smiled. "The house is fine. But I draw the line at the bathtub."

~vVv~

"Room in there for me?"

The low, warm voice filled the night air, and Kathryn sighed, stretching in the tub of hot water. She opened her eyes and looked to her right. Chakotay stood there in his robe, his towel draped over one shoulder.

She studied him carefully, squinting her eyes in the dim light. "Just as long as you're alone," she stipulated.

He looked around uncertainly. "And… who would be with me?"

Kathryn nodded, giving him a suspicious look. "I know your accomplice. Short, silver-haired fellow. Long arms."

Chakotay drew his head back and smiled. "Oh, him." He exhaled a heavy breath. "We broke up. Something about… owing him too many bananas."

Kathryn gave a soft laugh and reached out her hand, touching the front of his robe. "In that case, there's room."

He grinned and shrugged out of his robe, then carefully climbed into the tub, settling at the opposite end, leaning his head back. "I like it here at night," he murmured, gazing up at the stars through the tree branches. "It's so peaceful."

He felt Kathryn's foot brush against his chest, and he wrapped his hands around it, began to massage it gently.

She sighed. "Umm, that feels good." She tilted her head to one side and stared at him. "Do you remember the first time we saw George?"

Chakotay nodded and gave her a guarded smile. He knew where this conversation was leading.

"The look you gave me." She smiled at him slyly. She'd seen that look many times since then, but the first time… Well, that was a look she would never forget.

He shrugged. "We've discussed this, Kathryn… haven't we?"

"Yes, I just like to make you nervous."

"Well, you made me nervous that night, that's for sure." He found her other foot under the water and continued his massage. "Do you know how beautiful you are wearing nothing but a towel?"

She didn't respond; she just smiled.

And his eyes dropped. "I felt so guilty about my feelings for you."

Her smile faded, sensing the heaviness in his tone. She pulled her foot away and gracefully managed to move to his end of the tub. She pressed close to him. "I'm sorry you felt that way." She could feel his heart beating.

He shook his head. "You were my captain. I… I wasn't supposed to have those feelings for you." He looked up, his eyes fastening to hers. "But I did. And seeing you half-dressed, in the moonlight…"

Kathryn nodded. "I felt guilty, too."

"It wasn't your fault."

"I know. But it wasn't your fault either." She drew her fingers along the line of his jaw. "You are a healthy, male-"

"Primate?" Chakotay supplied.

Kathryn laughed and ran her fingers through his hair. "Yes. But much more handsome than George."

"That's good to hear," he whispered, and then covered her lips with his.

~vVv~

Chakotay rolled over in bed and stretched, staring up at the woman who sat beside him. She was wide awake, and that was surprising. He was more of a morning person than she was, but today seemed to be an exception.

She looked down at him and placed a hand on his thigh. "Now that we're both fully recovered… and healthy," she added with a meaningful smile, "I think we should take a trip."

Chakotay groaned in response and curled onto his side, one hand reaching out, trying to draw her back down under the blankets.

She laughed and pushed his hand away. "Come on. There's nothing like piloting a craft through uncharted space."

Chakotay blinked up at her. "You want to take the shuttle out?"

They'd taken a few trips in the shuttle to different parts of the continent, but of course, had never taken it out of the atmosphere.

She sighed and shook her head. "Just a figure of speech. Actually I was thinking of taking the boat."

"Down river?"

She shrugged. "Maybe up. If I take you along, you can get some good exercise paddling."

Chakotay propped himself up on one elbow, his head resting against his palm. "Are you suggesting that I need more exercise?"

Kathryn glanced down at him. "Absolutely not. You are fine just the way you are."

He cringed slightly. "Just… fine?"

She noted the hurt expression on his face. "You are wonderful."

He still fixed her with an uncertain look.

"Marvelous," she offered, lying down next to him on the bed. "Truly exceptional." She reached out and ran her hand over his chest and stomach. "Magnificent." Her hand brushed lower. "Unbelievable."

Chakotay caught her hand in his, stopping its movement. "All right. I believe you." He gave her a slow, gentle smile. "So, do you want to get ready for this trip now… or later?"

Kathryn leaned forward and kissed him, at the same time pulling her hand away from his and letting it continue its exploration. "Later," she murmured, pushing her body closer to his. "Much later."

~vVv~


	5. Chapter 5

"I think we've got everything we need," Chakotay stated, running his eyes over the cargo in the boat. "Camping equipment, food, blankets…"

"Did you remember the binoculars?"

"Yes."

"And the holo-camera?"

"Yes."

"And the-"

Chakotay turned around and caught her in his arms. "Kathryn, we have to leave room for us in there."

She frowned slightly, and then smiled. "You're right."

He swept his hand toward the boat. "After you," he invited, taking her hand and helping her into the craft.

Kathryn sat in the bow, and Chakotay settled into the stern. He took the paddles in his hands, and with strong, even strokes, he moved the boat into the river's current.

It was a beautiful day. The sky was blue; the trees along the bank were green and silver in the sunlight. A gentle breeze rustled through the leaves and rippled across the surface of the water. Birds sang in the surrounding woods, insects hummed, and the gentle waves lapped against the edge of the boat.

Kathryn relaxed against a sleeping bag and slipped off her shoes. She draped her legs over the side of the boat and allowed her feet to trail in the cool water.

Chakotay sighed as he watched her make herself comfortable. "Why am I doing all the manual labor?"

"Because you're stronger than I am. And besides," she made a feeble attempt at a cough, "I've been sick."

Lifting one of the paddles, Chakotay slapped it against the surface, causing droplets of water to splash up onto Kathryn's legs and the hem of her dress.

She giggled and put a hand in the water, scooping it up and splashing it back at Chakotay. "Careful there, Nature Boy. Two can play at this game."

He laughed. "All right, all right. Truce?"

"Truce."

He returned to his steady paddling.

"Actually, I don't mind doing all the work. It helps work the tension out of my shoulders." He pulled through a long stroke, and then another one. "And the view isn't bad."

Kathryn nodded in agreement. "The woods are lovely, aren't they?"

"They are, but I wasn't really talking about the woods."

She noticed the gaze he'd fixed on her.

"Just watch where we're going," she chided.

"Yes, ma'am."

~vVv~

They didn't go far. Partly because Kathryn didn't want Chakotay to work too hard, and partly because she'd found the perfect place to make camp. And besides, it was starting to get a little rocky and shallow in places.

"I know why you want to stop here," Chakotay said with a knowing smile as he unloaded the boat.

Kathryn stood on the bank, surveying the surrounding woodland, her hands propped on her hips. "Why?"

He cocked his head toward the edge of the river. "Those rocks over there form a natural pool. I know how you miss your bathtub on these trips."

"Very observant, Commander."

"I just don't see how you can manage to sit for long in this water. It's cold." He knelt on the ground and began to assemble the tent.

She stepped closer to him. "It's not that bad. And besides, you can't tell me that you haven't had your share of cold baths since we came here."

He looked up at her. "True. But luckily, I got to give up cold baths about a month and half ago." There was a teasing quality to his tone, but also a touch of sincere appreciation.

They were both grateful that their relationship had developed.

"You're welcome," she replied, giving him a pat on the shoulder. "But I still look forward to a good soak in the river."

He grinned. "Be my guest then," he offered with a wave toward the river bank. "But I'm going to see about getting this tent set up and make this place feel a little more like home."

Kathryn leaned over and kissed him on the forehead, her lips brushing his tattoo. "I can always count on you to make a place seem like home."

"I do my best."

~vVv~

Ten minutes later, a startled scream came from the edge of the river. Chakotay jumped to his feet and crossed the distance in a second. He stepped onto a large rock and stared down into the water of the pool.

Kathryn was sitting at the edge of the pool, her eyes darting back and forth across the surface. She was unclothed and drops of water trickled over her fair skin. "Something touched me!" she exclaimed, her hand reaching out for her towel.

Chakotay wanted to be understanding. He wanted to jump to her defense and protect her from all unseen enemies. He wanted to take her in his arms and shield her from the unknown. But, the only thing he could do was the one thing he knew he shouldn't.

He leaned his head back and began to laugh.

She looked up at him, beginning to shiver, her eyes wide with shock and concern. Her hand still fumbled behind her, looking for the towel.

Chakotay reached down at his feet and retrieved the towel that eluded her. He tossed it to her.

She grabbed it and quickly wrapped it around her body. "What is so funny?" she demanded. "There's something in there!"

He gasped and tried to stop laughing. "Of course, there's something in there. They're called fish."

She saw that he was having a good laugh at her expense, and a frown tightened across her lips. "Well, I know there are fish in the river, but they've never insisted on taking a bath with me."

He drew in a long breath, his laughter fading into a gentle chuckle. He raised his eyebrows in a menacing expression. "At least it's not snakes."

"Snakes!" She pulled her legs out of the water and scooted back further onto the land.

Chakotay squatted beside her, balancing on the balls of his feet. Humor glinted in his dark eyes. "Yeah, you know those black, shiny, slippery things." He moved his hands through the air, imitating the movement of a snake.

Kathryn shuddered and instinctively reached out and batted his hands away. She accidentally caught him on the shoulder with a little more force than she'd meant to deliver.

Chakotay lost his balance and with a surprised gasp of breath, he toppled into the pool. His head came up in a second, shaking the water out of his eyes and off his face.

Kathryn stared in amazement, realizing what she'd done. And then she started to laugh. Great, wrenching laughter that she couldn't stop. Her eyes watered, and her cheeks turned red.

And then Chakotay sputtered and started to laugh as well. For several long moments, their laughter rang through the woods, until Kathryn ran a hand over her tear-filled eyes and gasped in breaths of air.

Her expression grew serious. "I… I am so sorry," she managed. But her lips still quivered, threatening to break into a smile.

But Chakotay was already smiling, and he shook his head again, the water sparkling in his dark hair. "I guess I deserved that."

"No, you didn't." Kathryn pressed her hands to her lips, shaking her head. "I just overreacted. I hate snakes."

"I know. That's why I deserved it." He held his hand out to her.

And Kathryn took it, pulling back, helping to brace him so he could lift himself out of the water. But with one swift, fluid movement, Chakotay pulled his arm back and brought her right off the bank. She slid into the pool beside him, losing hold of the towel that she'd wrapped around herself.

She sat there as Chakotay began to laugh again, wet strands of hair sticking to her cheeks and forehead. The image of a drowned rat came to her mind, and that, along with the memory of the snakes, caused her to shudder. With a defeated sigh, she leaned her head on Chakotay's shoulder.

"Are we even now?" she asked loudly over the sound of his laughter.

~vVv~

"You should have seen the look on your face," Chakotay smiled over the rim of his coffee cup.

"My face? What about yours?" she shot back defensively.

They were both huddled around the campfire, dressed in dry clothes now, but wrapped in warm blankets as well. The evening air was cool and the breeze blew gently through the camp.

Chakotay took a drink of his coffee and allowed the hot liquid to warm the inside of his chest. He smiled in the direction of the glowing embers in the fire. "You know, we probably just ate your friend."

He'd spent an hour fishing after their unscheduled swim.

Kathryn frowned slightly. "Don't put it that way. You know I'm still not too keen on this idea of eating real fish."

Chakotay scooted closer to her and draped an arm around her shoulders. "I know. And just to show you how much I love you, I'll spare you my detailed description of the food chain."

Kathryn sipped at her own cup of coffee. "Thank you." She leaned closer to him and stared up at the evening sky. It was already growing dark in the east, faint stars beginning to wink; the west was aglow with streaks of yellow, orange, and pink. She sighed. "I wonder where they are now."

Chakotay tightened his hold on her. "That's the worst part of it, isn't it? Not knowing. How they are… What they've discovered… If they're safe…"

Kathryn gave a low chuckle. "I keep thinking that Tuvok's probably put Tom in the brig by now. And Neelix is probably cooking on the bridge."

"Um-um," Chakotay agreed, and Kathryn felt his chest rumble with silent laughter. "And B'Elanna's broken every nose in Engineering, and Harry is running the whole show."

"And he could probably do it." She smiled sadly. "He is an amazing young man. Can you imagine? Your first mission, and you end up here, in the middle of the Delta Quadrant."

"He's a strong individual, Kathryn. They all are. And they're going to be fine… even without us."

She turned her head and stared into his eyes. "I know. I just… miss them."

He pressed his cheek against hers. "So do I."

~vVv~

"We should name them."

Kathryn rolled over onto her back and winced. Even with the air mattresses, she always found it difficult to get comfortable on the ground. She envied Chakotay's ability to relax. "Are you talking about naming the river again?"

He lay on his back next to her, and in the dim moonlight she could see the white flash of a smile cross his face. She shifted onto her side and settled her head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around her.

"No," he answered, "I'm talking about naming the stars. You know I've been studying them, and I'm beginning to pick out some constellations."

"Really?" She looked up at the night sky. "Point one out to me."

"Okay. See that bright star just over the edge of that tree." One hand pointed into the darkness.

She scanned the horizon. "Um-um."

"And then just above it, there are two more, a little less bright."

"I see it."

"They always stay in the same position to each other. At least they have for the past four months."

"So, what are you going to name it?"

Chakotay rubbed his hand along her arm. "I thought I'd let you name it."

"But you're the one who discovered it. Shouldn't it be… Chakotay's Constellation," she announced in a very formal tone.

"No." She felt his head shake. "We've got to decide what it looks like, and then we create a story to go with it. A legend that belongs to this world."

She heard the deep sincerity in his voice. "That's a big responsibility, Chakotay," Kathryn breathed, "creating legends."

"What does it remind you of?" he pressed. "The bright star, and the two smaller stars trailing behind it?"

Kathryn was silent for several moments, and then she answered, her voice soft and quiet in the stillness. "_Voyager_," she whispered. "The bright star is the saucer section, and the other two stars are the nacelles sweeping along behind it."

He tightened his hold on her. "I was thinking the same thing."

She shifted her gaze from the sky to his face. "Were you really?"

"I really was."

"Then it's settled." She nestled her head closer into his chest. "Our first known constellation is _Voyager_. And this time, we don't have to make up a legend. It's already been written."

~vVv~


	6. Chapter 6

Chakotay expertly flipped the pancake in the pan, and then lifted the other pan of scrambled eggs off the camp stove. He portioned the food onto two plates, and then turned and handed one to Kathryn.

"There you are. Breakfast a la Chakotay. Otherwise known as pancakes and scrambled eggs."

"Thank you." Kathryn took the plate and balanced it on her knee. She looked down at it uncertainly.

"Is something wrong?" Chakotay asked, settling back onto one of the large rocks that he'd been using for a chair. "You always like my pancakes."

"Oh, no. Nothing's wrong." She picked up a fork and cautiously moved the eggs around her plate. "Just… nothing." She gave him a slight smile.

"All right." Chakotay leaned over and took a bottle out of the food hamper. "I think I'll just make mine a little bit better." He covered the pancake in syrup, and then exchanged one bottle for another. "And these are always better with a little bit of this." He shook a liberal serving of ketchup onto his scrambled eggs.

Kathryn took one look at his plate, and she felt her stomach rising in her throat. Hastily, she set her own plate on the ground, jumped to her feet and hurried over to the edge of the campsite. Bracing a hand against a tree trunk, she leaned over and threw up.

"Kathryn?" Chakotay's voice was close behind her, and then beside her, and she felt his hand press against her neck. "Easy. Easy there," he soothed, stroking her neck and shoulders as she proceeded to expel the contents of her stomach.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, but was probably less than a minute, the aching heaves stopped, and she felt her breath coming back to her in short, shallow gasps. She was trembling and perspiring, and she felt cold and clammy in the early morning air.

Chakotay wrapped an arm around her back.

"Kathryn… are you all right?" She could hear the worry in his voice, and despite his concern, she felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. It had been a long time since anyone had held her while she was throwing up.

Awkwardly, she ran her fingers over her lips and chin, and then the back of her hand over her forehead. She found Chakotay's hand already there, tenderly brushing her hair away from her face.

"Let's get you back to your sleeping bag," he suggested.

And without waiting for a reply, he scooped her up into his arms and carried her back over to the area beside the tent. Carefully, he settled her onto her pallet and sat down with her, allowing her to rest against his chest

He smoothed his hand over her cheeks. "That was unexpected."

She nodded weakly, still trying to regulate her breathing. "I… I…" She coughed, and Chakotay held her closer.

"Shh… don't try to talk. Take your time."

He rubbed a hand over her stomach, pressing gently, gauging her reaction.

She didn't flinch. She wasn't in pain. The truth was that the sight of pancakes, syrup, scrambled eggs, and ketchup had simply made her stomach do flip-flops. She shuddered again at the very thought.

"Hey… What is it?" Chakotay whispered. He gazed down at her, his eyes filled with concern.

She shook her head, her cheek brushing against the collar of his shirt. "I… I'm not sick."

"You're not?" he said doubtfully.

"No." She swallowed and took a deep breath. "This… is your fault." She sat up a little straighter, pulling away from him slightly.

He gave her a surprised look. "My fault?"

"Your breakfast, Chakotay," she answered with mild accusation. "My eyes and stomach just couldn't take it."

He smiled, even though tension creased his face. "You've seen me eat ketchup and eggs before."

"Uh-uh," she murmured, reaching out and placing her fingers against his lips. "Don't even say it."

He kissed her fingertips. "I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted." Her stomach growled. She could still feel it churning. "Could I have some water?"

"Sure." Chakotay pulled away from her, crawled the few meters to the food hamper, and returned with a water bottle and a cup. He poured the water, and then held the cup to her lips while she sipped at it. "Not too much," he warned gently.

She took one last drink and then nodded, allowing him to take the cup away. She still saw the traces of concern etched into his features. "I'll be all right," she whispered, touching his cheek. "Stop worrying."

Chakotay smiled. "The woman I love throws up at the sight of my cooking. I'm not worried. I'm hurt," he teased, the smile quickly fading into a frown, his lower lip jutting out in a poor attempt at a pout.

Kathryn played along. "Oh, you poor thing. So mistreated." And then she stiffened slightly as a wave of nausea hit her. She felt her stomach muscles spasm again.

"Kathryn!" Chakotay helped her lean toward the grass, but the feeling passed.

She straightened back up for a moment, and then slumped against his shoulder, weak and exhausted.

He pulled a blanket over her. "No more teasing," he said, his voice rough. "You may say you're not technically ill, but something caused you to be sick. And it wasn't just my breakfast."

She blinked up at him. "Too much fresh air?"

"I said no more teasing," he reminded her. "I want you to lie down and I'll go get the medical tricorder." He settled her onto the sleeping bag, tucking a pillow under her head. He got up and crossed over to the emergency medical kit. "We should have waited a while longer before taking this trip." She heard him muttering to himself. "You are not fully recovered from that cold, and now you're probably coming down with stomach flu."

Kathryn sighed and shifted, trying to get comfortable and ease the fluttering feeling in her stomach. Perhaps it was the flu, she thought. But for some reason, she had her doubts.

~vVv~

Chakotay made her rest while he broke camp and loaded the boat. The original plan had been to stay several days, but despite the fact that she wasn't running a temperature, and the tricorder could find nothing wrong with her, he'd insisted that they go home.

She lay on her side, a hand propped under her head, watching him. "Chakotay, I was just a little sick to my stomach. We're not talking a major illness here. Maybe it was that fish I ate last night. Perhaps it's my conscience bothering me."

He frowned over at her. "We're going home, Kathryn, so that you can get some proper rest in a proper bed."

She recognized the expression on his face. He'd let her down. Or, at least, that's what he was feeling. Her warrior, who placed her needs before his own.

"Stop blaming yourself," she said firmly, pushing up into a sitting position.

He shook his head at her, and then turned away, continued packing supplies. "I'm not," he disagreed.

"Yes, you are." Her voice slipped into her captain's tone. "You have to stop taking responsibility for everything that happens to me. I'm a big girl, Chakotay. I've managed a lot of years on my own before we… before we came here."

He stopped packing the food hamper and was very still, kneeling several meters away from her. She could see the muscles in his shoulders and back knotted with tension.

Chakotay swallowed and felt a tightness in his throat. He turned and stared over at her. "I can't help taking responsibility. That's just what I do… when I love someone. And…" He licked hip lips nervously, exhaled a deep breath. "And, if that makes you uncomfortable, I'm sorry. But that's who I am. I don't know if I can change that."

~vVv~

She'd hurt him. She could feel that she had. Although she knew that's not what he wanted her to feel. But it was more than that. She knew he was worried about her, and frightened. A cold was one thing; they knew what that was. But neither of them was sure what had caused her to be sick to her stomach.

She pushed herself to her knees and started to get up. He was beside her in an instant, wrapping his arms around her, holding her body close to his.

"Not so fast," he murmured.

She shook her head, but she didn't pull away from him. She allowed him to hold her, and she placed her hands on his broad chest, pressed her palms to the firm muscles. "I'm all right, Chakotay. And I don't want you to ever change. Even if… you insist that we go home."

He leveled his dark eyes with hers. "I do."

"Then we go home."

The look in his eyes softened, and he drew her closer to him, hugged her securely in his embrace. "I love you, Kathryn."

She sighed and relaxed in his arms. "I love you, too."

~vVv~

She'd been afraid that the gentle rocking motion of the boat could possibly upset her stomach again, but their trip home was uneventful. By the time they were settled back into their "little grey box," as Chakotay was fond of calling their house, she was feeling absolutely fine.

Chakotay had propped her up in bed with a tray of chicken soup, crackers, and ginger ale, and insisted that she take it easy for the rest of the evening. And she didn't argue with him this time. She wasn't going to change him. And, deep down, she didn't want to. She did love him just the way he was, even if the "warrior" routine could be smothering at times.

By the time they went to bed that night, she'd dismissed her concerns over her upset stomach. Perhaps it had been the fish, or maybe she'd just gotten too much sun the day before. But the next morning, when she found herself draped over the toilet at 0500 hours, the remnants of her vague concern turned to alarm. These were symptoms that she was familiar with, not in practice, but in theory.

She leaned over the sink and splashed cool water onto her cheeks, then peeked out the bathroom door before reaching for the medical tricorder. She'd been lucky to get out of bed and into the bathroom without disturbing Chakotay. Although he usually slept very deeply, there were times when he was so attuned to her body that she didn't even turn over without waking him. She was relieved that he was still asleep.

She lowered the seat on the toilet and sat down. The medical tricorder was usually set for general use, measuring vital signs, detecting injuries, determining viral infections, but it could also be programmed for specific tests. And her fingers were trembling as she adjusted the instrument for the appropriate scan, her mind telling herself over and over that this test wasn't necessary because the possibility of a positive reading was… impossible. She could think of no other word for it.

The tricorder made its usual faint sound as it scanned her body, gathering data and analyzing it. Within seconds, the small screen displayed the results.

Kathryn felt her body go cold, like ice, and she gasped in her next few breaths. It was positive.

Positive.

She was pregnant.

But she couldn't be. It wasn't possible. They'd taken precautions. Had even laughed nervously about the fact that the Doctor had included an initial six month supply of contraception ampules, and a reminder that the replicator could produce more when those had run out. They'd followed the instructions; they'd done everything they possible could to avoid this.

Kathryn scanned herself again with the same results.

They'd done everything, except not make love. And now the impossible had happened.

~vVv~


	7. Chapter 7

She knew she had to tell him.

She knew he would want this baby.

She knew she wanted this baby.

And she knew that they couldn't have it.

Not here. Not in this situation.

She'd been hesitant and unsure about the idea while on _Voyager_, but they'd both concluded that they couldn't make that decision for the crew. And they'd all eagerly awaited the birth of Ensign Wildman's baby.

But she'd never expected to find herself in the position of having to decide.

One way or the other…

And there was only one way…

Really.

While life on board a starship might possibly be dangerous or limiting for a child, life on New Earth would be… terribly unfair. No other children to play with, no school, no neighbors… except for George. And she found herself smiling for a moment. But then her thoughts returned to the reality of the situation. They couldn't bring a child into this particular world.

She kept the results of the scan to herself for the day, not sure how to tell Chakotay. How could she tell him? Thoughts of Seska and the baby she was expecting, the baby she'd surely had by now, kept running through her mind. He didn't talk about it much, although she knew he thought about it. How could she tell him that this was another baby he couldn't have, couldn't love or hold? And with every question, she found it increasingly harder to tell herself.

She was aware that Chakotay knew that something was bothering her, but he gave her some space, even allowed her to do a little work around the house and yard. She rearranged the cooking utensils and then planted some new Talaxian tomatoes.

All the while, she felt his eyes on her. And then finally, as evening began to settle, he asked her.

"What's been on your mind all day?" Carefully measured words.

Kathryn looked up from where she was sitting under the tree in the front yard. She'd been watching the sun set over the hills in the distance. Chakotay stood there, gazing down at her, his expression seeming to say that it was time. Time to share her thoughts with him, time to let him in on the secret. He settled beside her, one large hand resting warmly between her shoulder blades.

She drew in a deep breath and let it out. She was shaking.

Gently, he rubbed his fingers over her back. "Kathryn… tell me."

She looked over at him. His eyes were so deep and dark. So penetrating. She always felt as if he could see through her, as if he could read her every thought. And at that moment, she wished that he could. Anything to save her from having to tell him.

She swallowed, and her teeth bit into her lower lip slightly. She blinked at the tears that had been threatening to fall all day. She had to tell him. Just tell him.

"I'm… I'm pregnant." It was barely a whisper.

As was his reply. "I know."

"You know?"

He nodded, his gaze steady. "I… suspected."

She shook her head and looked away. "I… I don't know how this happened."

"I do."

She heard a touch of humor in his voice, and she quickly looked back at him. "This isn't funny, Chakotay," she snapped at him without thinking.

The hurt expression on his face was evident. He drew back slightly, shoulders tensing unconsciously. "No. It's not."

She sighed and reached out and touched his cheek. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" She lowered her gaze. "I'm sorry."

Chakotay covered her hand with his, pressed her fingers to his cheek. "So am I."

And he was sorry. Sorry because she was. Sorry because instead of being happy, she was sad. And sorry because he knew what she would say next.

Slowly, she raised her eyes back to his. "We… we can't have this baby."

He licked his tongue over his lips and exhaled a long breath. "I was afraid you would say that." He lowered her hand from his face, his fingers still wrapped around hers.

Her eyes grew large. She could feel him trembling. He wanted this baby. She'd known that he would.

And yet, they couldn't. "Chakotay… not here. We're not… Adam and Eve. We can't… go forth and populate New Earth," she exclaimed with an exasperated wave of her hand. Didn't he understand?

His eyes held hers with equal intensity. "And _Voyager_ wasn't supposed to be Noah's Ark. But there were days when I felt like it was. And it was a good feeling." He suddenly pressed his hand gently to her stomach. "And this is a good feeling."

Kathryn squinted, her eyes wet with tears. They mirrored the tears in Chakotay's eyes.

"It is good, Kathryn," he said slowly. "Life… is good. Whether it's here, or on _Voyager_, or back in the Alpha Quadrant. We may not be able to give this baby everything. But we can give it love… and a home… a beautiful home." He rubbed his hand over her stomach. "We can give it a life… or we can take it away."

She swallowed again, unable to respond.

"And I know you, Kathryn Janeway." He leaned closer to her. "I know when you're thinking with your head, and when you're thinking with your heart. And when it comes to this baby… I know what your heart is thinking. Listen to it, Kathryn."

She drew in a ragged breath and gasped. Damn him. Damn him for knowing her so well. For knowing what she'd been thinking and wanting all day. For putting into words thoughts she was even afraid to think.

She nodded, the tears flowing down her cheeks now. She couldn't help but listen to her heart; it was shouting at her, as was Chakotay's. "Yes," she gasped. "I want… this baby…" She reached up and ran her fingers over his face, touching the dimple in his chin, the dark lines of his tattoo, the bristle of his hair. "I want… our baby."

He drew her into his arms and held her, his cheek pressed to hers. "I want our baby, too."

~vVv~

Once the decision had been made, she tried not to look back. She tried to silence the chorus of "what ifs" and "if onlys" that echoed through her mind. Some days were easier than others. And Chakotay did all he could to make every day easy.

"Stop worrying over how this happened," he said, watching her run tests on the remaining contraception ampules, and then analyze blood samples that she'd taken from both of them. "We didn't do anything wrong." He moved and stood beside her. "We took these on a timely basis." He held up one of the ampules in his hand. "Remember the first time."

And Kathryn couldn't help but laugh. They'd sat across the table from each other, the hypospray and ampules spread before them. They'd made their decision. They knew they loved each other. They knew the contraceptive effect would be immediate. But neither of them made the first move.

"_This is ridiculous," Kathryn finally mumbled, reaching out and picking up the hypospray. "We're responsible adults, and we've made a responsible decision." She loaded an ampule into the instrument._

"_How many doses in each ampule?" Chakotay asked._

_Kathryn read the label. "Two."_

_Chakotay extended his arm and pushed up his shirt sleeve. "Me first."_

_She stared at him, the hypospray poised over his upper arm._

_He nodded. "You do me; I'll do you."_

_She grinned. "A ritual?"_

_And he grinned back. "Something like that."_

Kathryn set the data padd she was holding on the table and sighed. Chakotay was right. They hadn't done anything wrong. They hadn't made a mistake. They'd… followed the ritual precisely.

He leaned against her arm. "If there's one think I've learned in this world, it's that nothing is always a hundred percent reliable."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "Careful there. You're beginning to sound like a Maquis I used to know."

He arched his eyebrows in return. "He still lurks inside me," he replied with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Kathryn turned slightly and wrapped her arms around him. "What about people? Are they a hundred percent reliable?"

She'd asked the question without thinking, without realizing that for Chakotay it would have underlying meanings to it. Namely, Seska. And she saw the betrayal in his eyes immediately.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, shaking her head. "I didn't mean…"

"No." He folded his arms around her in response. "It's all right. I'll admit that… Seska has made it harder for me to trust people. Hell, maybe I was too trusting all along. Especially for a Maquis. But… I haven't lost that trust. It's gotten a little bruised and damaged along the way. It's… fragile," he admitted. "But it's still there." He drew her closer into his embrace. "And with some people, it's still a hundred percent."

Her lips quivered into a smile, and she traced her fingers over the tattoo on his forehead. "Some people are just damn lucky," she murmured, and then kissed him.

~vVv~

They sat cross legged on the floor of their bedroom, the embers in the fireplace glowing orange in the darkness. Chakotay's medicine bundle lay spread open between them, and his palm was pressed to the akoonah. The small device blinked with light as the energy built up, and then Chakotay pulled his hand away sharply. He picked up the river stone and placed it in his left palm, his right hand covering it. He held it securely, just beneath his chin, his eyes closed, as if in prayer.

And it was a prayer, Kathryn realized as she watched. A prayer for their child.

"Ah-coo-chee-moya." Chakotay's voice was low and soft. "We are far from the sacred places of our grandfathers. We are far from the bones of our people. But we ask on this day of rejoicing that the Sky Spirits will hear me and bring a blessing for our child. We ask that she grows strong and healthy in the womb of her mother. We pray that her journey to this world will be protected, that her stay here will be long, and that her path will lead her safely into the next world. May the animal guide who will one day find her, lead her now. And may the guides of her mother and father watch over and care for her always." He lowered the stone slightly. "Ah-coo-chee-moya."

Gently, he laid the stone back onto the medicine bundle and his eyes opened. He found Kathryn's grey eyes staring back at him. And she smiled and reached out and took his hands in hers.

"Ah-coo-chee-moya," she whispered.

~vVv~

"Chakotay?"

"Umm?" He looked up from the stone carving he was working on.

"Why do you think it's a girl?"

He didn't respond immediately, and she continued.

"Last night, during the blessing ceremony, you spoke as if you knew that our baby was a girl."

This time he shrugged. "Just a hunch."

Kathryn raised an eyebrow. "A hunch?"

"It's just a feeling I have." He lifted the stone and blew the fine dust away from its surface.

She studied him knowingly. "Have you been talking with your animal guide?"

"You know me. I try to on a regular basis." He carefully etched the stylus along the face of the stone.

Kathryn leaned forward. "And has she told you anything about this baby?"

He shook his head. "No."

She sighed. He was always secretive about his animal guide. She knew it was part of the tradition not to tell anyone what your guide was, but she still had to admit to herself that she was curious, even though she'd stopped trying to guess a long time ago. She knew he couldn't have told her even if she'd guessed correctly. But if his guide knew something about their baby, then she wanted to know, too. It was always helpful and relaxing when she contacted her own guide, but the tiny chameleon was a silent companion.

She collapsed back into her chair. She would have to take him at his word. But of course, she always did. And he'd never given her reason to doubt him.

"We could find out whether it's a boy or girl," she suggested. "I mean… medically. The tricorder can scan for the sex."

"That's all right," he said calmly, his gaze still fixed to his carving. "I'm just going to trust in my hunch."

Kathryn smiled. She loved his solid faith. "Is it all right if… I trust in your hunch with you?"

He looked up at her and grinned. "Of course, it is."

~vVv~

"He's laughing at me," she announced suspiciously.

Chakotay turned away from the project he was working on and looked at the silver-grey monkey that sat propped on a nearby tree limb.

"He is not."

"Yes, he is," Kathryn insisted, lowering herself into the lounge chair beside the front door.

Chakotay sighed. Mood swings, and it was only the third month. "Why is he laughing at you?"

"Because I'm fat and uncoordinated."

"Fat?" He stared over at her. "Your stomach is practically flat. I'm beginning to wonder if there's a baby in there at all."

"Believe me, there is. I haven't spent the last month and a half throwing up every morning just for the fun of it." She narrowed her eyes at him. "And what do you mean by 'practically flat'?"

Chakotay set the wood sander down and crossed over to her. He knelt beside the chair. Reaching out, he ran his hand over her stomach. "I mean just that. Except for this little rise right here, that happens to be our baby, your stomach is flat. Your figure is beautiful. And I love you."

The corners of Kathryn's lips twitched in sudden amusement. "You've been reading those expectant father files in the computer, haven't you? All those suggestions about what to say and how to say it."

He nodded slightly. "I have been reading them. But I'm not saying it just to say it. I mean every word."

Kathryn ran her hand through his hair and smiled. "I know you do. And I'm sorry I'm such a grouch."

"You're not." He rubbed his hand softly over her stomach.

And she laughed. "Chakotay, I don' t mean to upset you, but that little rise isn't our baby. It's water weight gain."

He looked up at her, his dark eyes alight with humor. "I know that. I'm just pretending."

~vVv~


	8. Chapter 8

Two months later, that little rise in her stomach was their baby. And it was a rise that seemed to be getting bigger every day.

Chakotay caught Kathryn standing sideways in front of the bathroom mirror, scrutinizing her figure. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned in the doorway, watching quietly in appreciation until she noticed him.

"Go away," she scolded, pulling the loose fitting top she was wearing down over her stomach.

He gave her a lopsided grin. "I'm just enjoying the view."

"Well, if I'd wanted to put on a show, I would have sent you an invitation," she responded, her voice hard.

He shrugged. "I'm just assuming that you did, and it got lost in the mail."

"Very funny," she remarked as she brushed past him on her way out the door.

He followed her. "Actually, I was coming to get you. There's something I want you to see."

She stopped and turned around, her eyes lighting with interest. "It's your secret project. The one you're building. The one you keep hidden in the utility shed."

His face fell slightly. "If you know where I hide it, then it's probably not a secret anymore."

She stepped closer to him and touched a hand to his chest. "No… it's still a secret. I didn't look."

He grinned. "All right then. Come on." And he grabbed hold of her hand and led her toward the front door. "It's in the yard."

She trailed behind him. "Not in the shed?"

He shook his head. "I'm unveiling it. My own show. Invitation only. And," he glanced back over his shoulder at her, "you're invited."

"Why thank you, sir."

They reached the front door, and he stopped and turned toward her. "Close your eyes."

"Chakotay…"

"Kathryn… Close your eyes."

She sighed, but did as he insisted.

"That's better." She felt him let go of her hand, and then felt both of his hands on her shoulders, gently guiding her toward the door. "Step," he instructed when they reached the threshold.

She stepped over the lip of the door and onto the grass. A few more steps, and then he closed his fingers around her shoulders, bringing her to a halt. "All right. You can open your eyes."

She did. And she gasped in surprise, a smile breaking across her face. "Chakotay, it's perfect."

Before her was a finely honed wooden cradle. Solid headboards and delicately spindled railings. It was a large cradle, the rockers broad and sturdy. She walked over and ran her hands along the wood. It was smooth, buffed to a rich honey brown tone.

She blinked up at Chakotay. "It's beautiful."

He came and stood beside her. "I'm glad you like it." He wrapped him arms around her, one hand resting on her stomach. "I hope she likes it."

Kathryn smiled. "I'm sure she will." And then she took Chakotay's hand and led him back to the house. "We need to talk."

"About what?" he asked.

She sat down at the table, and he sat in the chair next to her.

"We haven't discussed names yet."

Chakotay was silent.

"What do you think of Madeline?" Her eyes shone brightly.

He nodded slowly. "It's… nice."

Her face fell. "You don't like it?"

"No, Kathryn, it's a fine name."

She frowned slightly. "What about Grace?"

"It's all right."

"Elizabeth? Sarah?"

Chakotay held up his hands. "They're all… wonderful names, but…" He sighed and licked his lips.

"But… what?"

He settled his gaze on her. "In my tribe, children don't receive names until after they're born. And then it's… a gift."

"From their parents?"

"No." He shook his head. "From their tribe."

Kathryn reached out and took hold of his hand. "Chakotay… we don't have a tribe."

He glanced down at the table, a grin breaking across his face, and then he raised his eyes back to hers. "I know… but I'd still like to… meet her before we decide on a name."

Kathryn smiled and squeezed his hand. "All right. We'll wait."

~vVv~

As the baby grew, so did Chakotay's insistence upon telling her stories. And although Kathryn enjoyed the stories almost as much as he enjoyed telling them, there were times when she simply tried to block him out so that she could get some work accomplished.

Like now.

She was propped against the pillows in their bed, busily reviewing her notes on her latest project: crossbreeding Talaxian tomatoes and Talaxian squash. So far, she'd had very little luck, but some of the data looked promising.

Chakotay lay sideways on the bed, sprawled on his belly, one leg hanging over the edge. His left cheek was pressed against the mattress, his right hand gently rubbing her stomach. And he was talking to their daughter.

"And then, the Ancient Rubber Tree People knew that the Sky Spirits were there to guide them. And that they would watch over and protect them as they journeyed through this world."

Kathryn looked away from her data padd, glancing down onto the bed beside her. It was hard to block him out when he looked and sounded so adorable, like a little kid with a secret. She reached down and brushed her fingers through his hair. It was still damp from his bath, and his skin was warm.

"Chakotay… you're repeating yourself."

He shifted his head, his eyes looking up at her, questioning.

"You've already told her the story of the Ancient Rubber Tree People. Twice. Just last week."

He blinked, a look of pure innocence on his face. "But it's a good story."

She smiled and rubbed a finger along his ear. "It is a good story. I'm sorry for interrupting."

He pushed himself up onto his knees and crawled up next to her. "That's all right. She knows the ending." He settled against the pillows beside her. "She should. She's heard it before." Chakotay pulled the blankets up over him and snuggled underneath them. "Besides, it's past her bedtime." He rubbed his hand along Kathryn's arm. "Mine, too."

Kathryn put her data padd on the bedside table. "I get the hint." She turned off the lamp and lay down next to him, his arms encircling her. "You know, Chakotay, although doctors and scientists decided a long time ago that babies are aware of external sounds while in their mother's womb, they still haven't determined whether or not they can actually hear and understand separate words or phrases."

"Kathryn… Is that your way of saying that you're getting tired of my bedtime stories?"

She laughed softly. "Of course not. I love your stories. Even the ones I've heard over and over."

She felt her hand on his stomach again.

"I think she understands," he murmured. "Babies remember being in the womb. I do."

Kathryn blinked in the darkness. "You and Harry Kim." She remembered Tom Paris telling that story on the bridge one day, and poor Harry had blushed with embarrassment.

"Actually, Harry's memories are clearer than mine. We had a long discussion about it at Sandrine's one night. I think his mother's choice in music nurtured his talent."

Kathryn turned over and nestled closer to him. "Does that mean that our daughter is going to be a master storyteller?"

"No." He kissed her forehead. "It means that our daughter is going to come into this world knowing who she is and where she came from."

~vVv~

There didn't seem to be any recognizable seasons on the planet, at least not in the area where they were living. One month blended into the next with very little change in weather or temperature, although some evenings were cooler than others.

They had discovered some local vegetation that they'd determined to be edible, and they noticed that despite the consistent weather patterns, those fruits and vegetables had their own growing periods.

Two or three times a month, they'd go out "picking berries," as Kathryn was fond of saying. They would return with buckets of pink berries and baskets of New apples, fruit that was very similar to Earth's blueberries and crabapples. Chakotay, who was always the one who liked naming things, teasingly complained that "pink berries" and "New apples" weren't very exciting names.

"_They're too… familiar," he'd said the last time they'd been out collecting fruit._

"_That's why I named them pink berries and New apples," Kathryn responded with a well-practiced sigh. "The berries are pink and the apples are… Well, they're almost like apples on Earth, and since this is New Earth, they're New apples."_

"_All right," he gave in to her reasoning, "if you want to continue harvesting boring vegetation… we will."_

And now, Chakotay was out there without her doing just that. She'd wanted to go with him. She loved tramping through the woods, looking to see what had changed since the last time she'd been there. And the serenity of the shaded areas was restful and inviting. But Chakotay had refused this time.

"_Kathryn, I'm planning on going all the way to the base of the mountain, and that's too far. You keep forgetting that you're six months pregnant."_

_She laughed. "Oh, no. There's no way that I'm forgetting that." She ran a hand over her stomach._

"_I'm not forgetting either." He stepped over to her. "I know how much you love picking berries, but I would feel better if you stayed here."_

_She frowned slightly. "And you would get more done if I stayed here."_

"_I wasn't going to say that."_

"_No. But you were thinking it."_

_He kissed her on the forehead. And she knew that was his way of ending the debate. Case closed._

"_I'll be back in time to bake a pie with some of the New apples," he promised, picking up a couple of buckets, a basket, and a mesh bag._

_And he was gone. Out the door before she could even think of another point to argue._

That had been almost four hours ago, and he hadn't returned.

Kathryn got up from her computer and walked to the door, peering out anxiously. It was beginning to grow dark and the sun would be completely gone soon. She'd been worried about him for almost an hour. And she made her decision.

Something was wrong. It had to be. He should have been back by now. She pulled on a jacket, grabbed the emergency medical kit, took a phaser, and strapped one of the wrist lights to her arm. She felt a surge of adrenaline mixed with fear as she set off for the base of the mountain.

~vVv~


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Notes:** I want to thank everyone for the positive reviews. I appreciate the feedback. It's very encouraging. Thanks! This story is finished, but I only have a hard copy, so I'm re-typing it. I'm about halfway finished.

The approaching night felt cooler than usual, and even her fairly brisk walking pace didn't seem to warm her. She knew it would take almost an hour to reach the mountain, but she immediately began calling Chakotay's name every few minutes. She would strain to hear a reply, but the only sound that came back to her was the evening chorus of the birds.

She pressed on, trying to walk faster, but finding that she was out of practice, and her breathing was soon labored; she actually had to force herself to slow down. Minutes passed, a quarter of an hour, half an hour. Still no response to her hails. She began to worry that he'd changed his mind. That he hadn't gone to the mountain. That he'd chosen to go down along the river, another favorite place to look for fruit.

And then she heard it. A faint sound carried on the breeze.

"Chakotay?" she yelled, her voice dry and cracking.

And there it was again. Too far to be a word or a name. But a noise.

Despite her exhaustion, she began to run in its direction. "Chakotay?"

And this time, she could make out the meaning behind the sound.

"Kathryn?"

"Chakotay?"

She scrabbled up a small rise and around an outcropping of rocks. In front of her was a stand of apple trees, and at the base of one, crumpled on the ground, was Chakotay.

"Chakotay?" She rushed over and knelt beside him.

He was lying in an awkward position, his back stretched over a large, gnarled tree root. His right leg was twisted beneath him and his forehead was bruised and bleeding. There was more blood coming from his nose.

Kathryn drew in a deep breath, and felt herself beginning to tremble. But her emergency training took over, and she opened the medical kit and took out the tricorder.

"I…" Chakotay swallowed and blinked up at her, tears slipping from the corners of his eyes. "I… fell," he breathed painfully.

Kathryn nodded, studying the tricorder. "How long ago?"

He drew in a ragged breath and coughed. "About… about an hour… maybe… more." He swallowed again. "Tried… tried to move. It… hurts." He gritted his teeth together.

"I know." Kathryn ran a hand over his cheek. "And I'm afraid it's going to hurt some more before we're able to get you back to the house."

He gave her a forced smile. "I figured… it would."

She put the tricorder back in the medical kit and took out a piece of gauze, used it to wipe the blood from the edges of the cut on his forehead and away from his nose. Then she pulled out a hypospray. "Your right leg is broken and you have a concussion," she explained as she adjusted the instrument. "It's a miracle that you haven't gone into shock." She pressed the hypo to his neck, adjusted it again, and repeated her action. "The first injection should take care of any shock symptoms, and the second will help deaden the pain, but it won't be able to suppress it completely. Where else are you hurting?" She rested her hand tenderly on his chest.

He squinted up at her. "Head… hurts. Leg… Thirsty…"

"I can let you have a little water." She slipped the hypospray in her pocket and took a water bottle from the kit; she gently lifted his head.

He sipped greedily at the bottle.

"Easy there, not too much." She pulled it away and returned it to the kit. And then she moved closer to the leg that was folded beneath him. "Chakotay, I'm going to have to reposition this leg and set it before I can use the bone synthesizer. You're still going to feel some pain."

He nodded. "Go ahead." He released a heavy breath and his eyes drifted away from her, staring up at the darkening sky above them.

Kathryn placed one hand under his hip and lifted him slightly. She used her other hand to grasp his ankle and straighten the twisted leg. The tricorder had told her that the break was just below the knee, but even if it hadn't, she would have been able to tell. It was bent in an unnatural position.

Thanks to the pain suppressant she'd given him, Chakotay only gasped as she laid his leg out on the ground, his next breaths shallow and rapid. But she knew that the next movement she made would be even more painful. Still, it had to be done. She positioned both of her hands around his ankle, braced herself, and pulled back sharply on the leg.

Chakotay cried out, and she watched his face go grey with pain, creases etching across his forehead, and around his eyes and mouth. She could actually feel the bone snapping back into place, and despite the pain it had caused him, that snap was a good feeling.

"It worked," she breathed, reaching back up to the medical kit for the bone synthesizer.

Chakotay was taking deep breaths now, trying to calm to fast beating of his heart. He opened tightly closed eyes and stared at her as she began to run the synthesizer over his leg. Despite the pain, he'd noticed the tone of relief in her voice.

"First time… to set a leg?" he asked, a touch of humor lighting his eyes.

Kathryn looked up, realizing her admission. "First? Oh, no. There have been hundreds. Dozens." She knew he wasn't buying it. "All right. One. Academy holodeck training."

"I thought so." His eyes closed. "Good work, Cadet."

And as Kathryn repaired the bone in his leg, he rested, drifting into a state of semi-consciousness. Until he heard her voice calling him.

"Wake up, Chakotay." He felt her hand on his arm, patting him awake.

"I'm up," he murmured, eyes fluttering open, a guilty expression on his face, as if he were late for bridge duty.

She smiled down at him. "Well, you're not up. But you're awake."

"Am I gonna make it, Doc?"

She brushed her hand over his hair. "I think so. Your leg is set and the bone is knitted. It's going to be a while before you have full use of it, but, if I find something for you to use as crutches or a cane, we might be able to walk out of here by tomorrow afternoon."

He shook his head, wincing at the motion. "Tomorrow? Kathryn, you can't stay out here all night."

She realized he wasn't exactly thinking straight, letting his natural concern for her cloud his reasoning, but she simply reassured him. "I'll be fine. And so will you. The medical kit has a thermal blanket, and we can make a fire. And I'll bet that I can bake some of those apples you managed to get before your little accident."

He smiled. "Little accident?"

She shrugged. "I had to call it something. Now, I've cleaned the wound on your head, and treated your concussion, but I'm still going to have to wake you up every few hours. I'm afraid we have to rely on some old-fashioned medicine when we're not in a well-equipped Sickbay."

"It's all right."

She kissed his forehead. "You rest some more while I see about that fire and those apples."

~vVv~

An hour later, Chakotay was propped beside a blazing fire, leaning against Kathryn's shoulder; they were both covered by the thermal blanket. Although he wasn't terribly hungry, Kathryn had managed to get him to eat a few bites of a baked apple, and he'd drunk some more water.

"It was… a stupid move," he sighed, explaining how he'd fallen out of the tree. "I was trying to throw some more apples into the basket and I leaned out a little too far… And lost my balance."

"I'm so sorry." Kathryn rubbed her hand along his chin. She knew that his pride was just as hurt as his leg and head.

"Some Nature Boy I am," he groaned, shifting his position and wincing at the discomfort.

"We'll just have to train George to pick apples," Kathryn suggested, lowering her shoulder a bit so that his head could rest against it.

"That's… a good idea." Chakotay yawned and closed his eyes.

She held her hand to his cheek. "You sleep. I'll wake you in a little while."

~vVv~

They made it through the night, holding each other close for the warmth and security. She woke him several times so that he wouldn't drift into too deep of a sleep. And sometime after midnight, with her help, he'd managed to get to his feet and walk a few steps away from their small campsite in order to relieve himself. Even in the dim light, she could see the look of relief that crossed his face, and she'd almost laughed.

When morning came, he was ready to get going.

"Chakotay, I'm not dragging you back to the house." She was sitting next to the fire, mashing up bits of apples and berries in a cup. "We're going to eat our breakfast, and then I'm going to find something that you can use as a cane or a crutch. And if we stop to rest along the way, we should make it home in about an hour and a half."

"All right," he agreed, rubbing a hand over the bandage on his forehead.

Kathryn could tell that his head was hurting. She set down the cup of fruit, reached into her pocket, and took out the hypospray. She got up and stepped over to him.

"Here, this'll help."

He tried to push her hand away, but she managed to press the instrument to his neck.

"Kathryn… I don't need that," he complained, hating to admit to any signs of weakness or pain.

She sat back down with a sigh. "No. But your head did." She took the cup of fruit and handed it to him. "Now, eat some of this. Pretend it's…" she shrugged, "eggs and ketchup?"

He laughed softly. "Sorry, my imagination's a little bit… dented this morning." But he reached his fingers into the cup and took some of the fruit anyway.

While he ate, Kathryn scouted around the area and returned with a sturdy limb. Within fifteen minutes, Chakotay had used the phaser to transform the piece of wood into a cane.

For the next half hour, he practiced with the cane, alternately using it and leaning on Kathryn. She could tell he was in pain, but he never said a word. She drew in a deep breath as he walked away from her, his right let stiff, his gait uneven. He was her warrior. And pain was just another battle to be fought.

~vVv~

It was the longest hour and a half of her life. They walked slowly, stopping every five or ten minutes for Chakotay to rest. He would often not want to stop, and she would have to make him, almost forcing him to sit down or lean against a tree. He was feverish and she knew that he was experiencing some dizziness, but still he pressed on, determined to get them home. After a while, the cane wasn't enough, and he grudgingly looped his arm over her shoulder, allowing her to help support him. She hadn't been planning on "dragging him home," but in some ways, she was. Sheer force of will kept them going.

When she felt that neither of them could go any further, they rounded the last few trees and their small house came into view. Ten minutes later, she had Chakotay in his pajamas and tucked into bed. They both managed to drink a cup of soup, and then she insisted that he take a nap.

"You should be resting, too," he complained, as she sat beside him, changing the bandage on his head.

"I will in a few minutes." She taped another bandage in place. "This is coming along just fine. The cut should be completely healed by this evening."

"And the concussion?" He blinked up at her, his eyes tired.

"If that's your way of asking whether you can sleep longer than an hour at a time, the answer is yes."

He smiled. "Good. But I'm not sleeping until you put on your pajamas and get in bed."

She sighed. "Chakotay. I've got a few things to take care of. I'll take a nap in a little while." She started to get up from the edge of the bed, but his hand reached out and grasped her wrist.

"Kathryn… I mean it. If you won't think of yourself, think of the baby."

She swallowed. He was right. She was tired. And she needed to rest. And so did the baby.

"All right."

She undressed and slipped into her nightgown. Chakotay held up the blankets and she crawled underneath them, curling close to him. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you," he murmured, hip lips kissing her ear.

"For what?" She sighed; his slight fever made his embrace warmer.

"You rescued me."

She smiled. "I did, didn't I?"

"Um-um."

She turned over in his arms, careful not to bump his injured leg. Her head was resting next to his on the pillow, and she gazed into his dark eyes. "Poor Tom," she whispered. "He'll never know."

His expression creased with confusion.

And she gently rubbed her fingers along his jawline, touched the dimple in his chin. "Your life no longer belongs to him. It's mine now, Nature Boy."

He grinned and kissed the fingers that brushed over his lips. "It's been yours for a long time. Tom just never knew."

~vVv~


	10. Chapter 10

"No...no... No!"

The scream pierced the silence of their bedroom and as Kathryn jerked awake, she realized it was a cry of fear and pain.

"Chakotay?"

She reached out for him in the darkness. He was sitting up in bed beside her, his hands to his face, his shoulders heaving with each deep breath. She could feel him trembling.

Quickly, she leaned over and retrieved the hypospray that she'd placed on the bedside table the night before. As she moved, she heard his sharp intake of breath. Just that slight movement had jarred his leg, and she suspected that he was in pain.

She pressed the hypospray to his neck; she felt him relax almost instantly. But still, his breathing was ragged, and he continued to tremble. She returned the hypospray to the table, and then placed her hands on his shoulders and back, gently kneading the remaining tension in his muscles.

"Chakotay? Tell me about it."

She knew he'd been dreaming. And not a pleasant dream. A nightmare. A rare occurrence for him. But with the stress of the last few days, not surprising. He usually didn't relate the details of his nightmares, preferring to share the good dreams with her instead. She knew he didn't want to burden her with the ghosts of his past, but there were times, like now, when she knew he needed to.

"Chakotay?" She pulled him gently back into her arms, settling herself against the headboard.

He was stiff and unyielding at first, but then he sank into her embrace, allowing his head to rest on her shoulder. She rubbed her hand over the side of his face, his cheek scratchy with a day's growth of beard, and she wiped away the cold beads of perspiration covering his skin.

"Shh. You're all right," she soothed. "I'm here."

She felt him swallow convulsively, and then he nodded. "I...know," he murmured, his voice hoarse. He shuddered, and she held him tighter.

"Tell me about it. Please. It'll help." She kissed his forehead. "I promise."

"You always...say that," he breathed, not looking up at her.

It was easier that way. She knew that, too. Easier to share the bad dreams as long as he wasn't looking at her.

"What was it about, Chakotay?"

"First time... I broke my leg."

"On the Ocampa homeworld?"

He shook his head. "That...wasn't the first time."

And he told her a story he'd never told her before. A story he'd never told anyone. A story he'd tried to forget.

A nightmare he never could.

_They pushed him roughly into the cell, the force causing him to lose his balance and fall flat on his face, his legs spread-eagled. With his hands manacled behind him, there was no way to break the fall, and the stone floor rushed up at him, slapping into his forehead, biting into his skin, causing fresh blood to run down his cheeks and mingle with the dirt and traces of dried blood that already stained his face._

_He didn't move, didn't try to stand, even as heavily booted feet kicked him along his arms and legs, his back, hips, the sides of his chest. He heard a crack, felt the pain under his arm, knew that a rib had been broken. Maybe two._

_The next kick turned him over onto his side. And the next connected with his stomach, and then his groin. He doubled up, trying to protect his stomach area, only to feel the toe of a boot land on his exposed neck and the back of his head. The next impact brought darkness._

_When his eyes opened, he was no longer on the floor of the cell. He was hanging by his arms, his wrists manacled to a rod above his head. His feet barely touched the floor beneath him. He moved slightly, and felt sharp pain lance through his entire body. He knew they'd continued to beat him even after he'd passed out. It was their way._

_He looked down, saw that he was naked. Another of their practices. Stripping their prisoners of every shred of humanity. He could see that he was bruised and bleeding in several places. He felt as if he were on fire, except in his shoulders where he could no longer feel anything at all._

_And then lights flashed on in the semi-darkness. And a face appeared before him._

_"Welcome...Maquis." The voice was cold, calculated. "We're so glad you...dropped in to visit us. We'll try to make your stay...comfortable."_

_And from the shadows, two guards appeared, both carrying clubs. And the blow that landed on his right shin snapped the bone instantly. He cried out. And the next blow, along his back, caused the lights to go out. Again._

Kathryn sat frozen in the darkness, her arms around him. He'd told her everything, every detail. Waking up afterwards strapped to a metal chair, having the Cardassian "doctors" perform several "experiments" on him before they mercifully threw him back into his cell, where he lay crumpled on the floor, his leg and ribs still broken, his left shoulder dislocated. His vision blurred, head pounding. Until a group of Maquis had over run the stronghold and found him, barely alive.

"I...I didn't talk for three days." He swallowed convulsively, and groaned at the lingering memories.

She felt his lips trembling against her neck. Soothingly, she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I didn't want to," he whispered raspingly. "I was...afraid. And when I did...speak...I never told anyone...what it was like." He bent his head back, and stared up at her. "Until now." Tears slipped from his eyes. "I'm sorry...Kathryn." He drew in another ragged breath. "I shouldn't...have told you."

"Shh. Yes. You should have. Don't ever be afraid to tell me anything." She rubbed her hands along his cheeks, held his face steady. "I love you. And believe me, I am strong enough to listen to your nightmares."

He nodded and collapsed into her arms, allowed her to hold him while he cried the last of the tears that he'd held inside for so long.

~vVv~

He slept peacefully now, curled close to her, his hand holding hers. He'd held on to her all night. And she'd held on to him.

She'd often wondered about his life with the Maquis. How dangerous it had been, how frightening and lonely. Especially for an ex-officer. A man who had believed in the ideals and precepts laid down by Starfleet. A man who must have felt betrayed by all he'd once trusted.

And now, they were together. Starfleet and Maquis.

She gazed down at him, gently tracing her fingers over his forehead, along his eyebrow. And she knew that she could never betray him, even if they were back in the Alpha Quadrant, even if Starfleet expected her to.

This man was safe with her. She knew that. And so did he.

She turned over onto her back, her hand still held securely in his, and watched the room around them grow light with the approaching morning.

And then she felt the baby kick. For the first time.

"Chakotay?" She smiled and drew his hand over to her, opening his fist, placing his palm on her stomach, spreading his fingers. "Wake up," she whispered a little bit louder, almost afraid that her voice would make the baby stop moving.

"Huh?" he grunted, half asleep.

"It's the baby."

His eyes blinked open, and she saw an expression of panic cross his face. "It's all right," she assured. "She's just kicking."

And she felt her again, a foot or a shoulder turning over, bumping into the sides of her womb.

This time the expression on Chakotay's face was one of wonder, his eyes growing large and bright. "I felt her."

"Um-um," Kathryn murmured. "She's awake."

Chakotay grinned when he felt another kick. "She's a little fighter."

Kathryn reached out and ran her hand along his cheek. "She's a warrior...like her father."

~vVv~

The next few days were difficult for Chakotay. The cut on his head healed, as did his concussion, but the leg remained stiff and painful. Kathryn knew that without access to _Voyager's _sickbay and to the Doctor's expertise, his leg would take some time to mend properly, but it wasn't easy trying to explain that to him.

He wanted to be her warrior. Strong, in control. Taking care of her burdens. Instead, he felt like a burden. She knew that. And she tried to keep up his spirits.

"You know, I could use some help in the garden. The squash is ready to be picked."

He stared over at her. "I really need to go do some fishing."

"Chakotay..."

"I'm just going to sit on the edge of the bank," he grumbled. "I don't have to walk for that." He pushed himself to his feet, leaning heavily on the cane in his left hand.

"You have to walk to get there. And you know how you feel when you overwork yourself." She hated reminding him of the intense muscle strain he experienced when he walked too far, but he had to stop pushing himself. "If you don't take it slowly, it's only going to take longer."

'You've been saying that for almost a week. What if..." His voice trailed off, and he looked away.

"What if...what?" She stepped over to him, touched his arm.

He pressed his lips together and then answered. "What if… I don't get any better?"

"Chakotay... You haven't given yourself enough time." She studied the expression on his face. "This isn't like you. What's wrong?" She touched her fingers to his cheek.

"I..." He shook his head and sighed. "I've just got to be better by the time she gets here."

Kathryn suddenly understood. And she nodded, suppressing the smile that twitched at her lips. "I see." She leaned forward and kissed his cheek. "Chakotay, you're going to be a wonderful father. And you're going to be just fine by the time she gets here. Now, I still need some help in the garden and the fish will still be in the river next week."

He looked up at her and smiled slightly. "All right."

~vVv~

"Now that was good squash casserole... If I say so myself." Chakotay leaned back in his chair, wiping his napkin over his lips, a self-satisfied expression on his face.

"Simply marvelous," Kathryn agreed with an attempt at a French accent.

Chakotay laughed.

And so did she. "Accents were never my specialty."

He tilted his head at her. "Really?" he asked in mock surprise.

"Really." She nodded and reached for her glass. She was pleased to see that he was feeling better, and his sense of humor had returned, but still, she changed the subject before he had a chance to tease her further. "Now, was that some sort of chocolate dessert that I saw before supper?" She took a sip of water.

'Yes. It was." Chakotay got to his feet.

"Let me get it." Kathryn set her glass back on the table and started to stand.

"No." He held up his hand. "I'm fine. Besides, the kitchen is my domain." Leaning on his cane, he moved over to the corner of the cabin and picked up a pie pan. "This dessert is an old family recipe handed down from my great-grandmother to my mother." He turned back and placed the pan on the table. "Although, technically, it was my father who taught me how to make it."

"The more I hear about your father, the more I'm impressed." Kathryn wished she could have known the man. "Was there anything he couldn't do?"

Chakotay smiled and sank back into his chair. "Very little. But you see, the real reason he learned to make this was because my mother finally got tired of making it."

"So, who actually made it better?"

"Uh-uh. We kids never picked sides," Chakotay grinned. "And I still don't."

Kathryn laughed again. 'You're right. When it comes to chocolate, one has to be diplomatic."

And that's when they heard it. A faint noise, like static.

Kathryn glanced around the room. "Do you hear that?"

Chakotay looked up. 'Yes." He rose to his feet again.

Kathryn's eyes stared at the shelf on the opposite wall.

He walked toward it.

The static turned into words as Chakotay took their comm badges from the shelf and returned to the table.

'To Captain Janeway. Do you read me? This is Tuvok calling Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay. Please respond."

Chakotay placed the badges on the table and then stood there, leaning on his cane, his gaze focused on Kathryn.

She picked up one of the small devices, held it in her palm. "This is Janeway."

"Captain, it is good to hear your voice. We have medicine which we believe will effectively treat your condition. We plan to be in orbit within thirty hours."

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay. She saw the mixed emotions play across his expression, felt them running through her own mind. His lips pressed tightly together, but then he nodded, a tiny shake of his head. And she felt herself relax, release the breath she was holding.

"We'll be ready, Lieutenant. Contact us when you arrive."

"We look forward to seeing you. Tuvok out."

Kathryn lowered the comm badge to the table. And then smiled. Only Tuvok would have been able to contact them so calmly after over a year of separation. _A year._

She looked back at Chakotay. "I don't believe it." She shook her head.

Chakotay pushed his chair closer to hers, and sat down, his hand resting on her knee. "I heard it. It's real. They're coming back for us."

"But it's been...fourteen months." Her eyes searched his. "Where have they been? The time they've lost..."

"Hey..." Strong fingers tightened around her knee. "Let's worry about that when we get back to the ship. Tuvok will have some explanations."

Kathryn gave a short laugh. "Some very logical explanations, I'm sure."

Chakotay grinned. "Of course." And then his expression sobered. "And speaking of explanations... We've got some of our own."

Kathryn nodded slowly, a faint smile crossing her face. 'You're right...we do."

~vVv~

To say that it was the most awkward conversation she'd ever had in her life would have been...telling the truth. A day later, Kathryn Janeway sat at the table explaining to one of her oldest and dearest friends that she and her... newest, oldest, dearest friend were expecting a child.

Tuvok received the news with no trace of emotion in his voice, although Kathryn was fairly sure that she could hear his eyebrows raise in surprise.

'Tuvok... I know this is... something of a shock."

"I am incapable of experiencing emotional shock, Captain," the steady Vulcan replied. "And while I was not expecting your news, I can see where yours and Commander Chakotay's relationship could logically develop into a deeper commitment. You were not expecting us to return. It is logical that you would plan a new life for yourself on the planet, including a family."

Kathryn shook her head. She wouldn't tell him that logic had very little to do with her present condition, but she did feel the need to be honest with him, and although she wasn't sure that she would tell the rest of the crew, she wanted him to know. "Tuvok... Chakotay and I... We didn't plan this child. But we do want it. Very much." She drew in a deep breath. "Could you...inform the senior officers before we transport on board? And the Doctor and Kes." She rubbed a hand over her forehead. There were so many details to think of at once. "I assume you'll be transporting us directly to Sickbay."

'Yes, in order for the Doctor to treat you with the medicine we have acquired."

She exhaled a breath. "That's good. Chakotay broke his leg last week and it still needs some attention."

"As do you, Captain," Tuvok responded. And Janeway realized that was his way of letting her know that he was concerned for her well-being. "I will inform the senior officers, the Doctor, and Kes."

"Thank you."

"As soon as you and Commander Chakotay are safely on board, and we have determined the medicine to be effective, I will dispatch a landing party to pack your equipment before beaming it into one of the cargo bays. You will be able to go through the transport at your convenience."

Kathryn smiled. "As usual, you have it all under control."

And Tuvok replied. "It will be nice when it is under your control again, Captain."

~vVv~

When she materialized in Sickbay, Kes was there, instantly wrapping her arms around her. "Captain, it is so good to see you." Tears filled the young woman's eyes.

Kathryn returned Kes' embrace, holding her for several long moments. "It's good to see you." Her eyes scanned the room. "All of you."

Besides Chakotay and Kes, Tuvok and the Doctor were the only other people present.

Kes drew back and leaned toward the First Officer, giving him a hug as well. "Commander, I'm glad you're back."

'Thank you, Kes. It's nice to be back."

'Tuvok..." Kathryn stepped over to him, and although she knew how he regarded emotional displays, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'm glad to see you."

To his credit, he didn't even lift an eyebrow. "It is good to see both you and Commander Chakotay."

'Yes, yes, it's good to see everyone," the Doctor said brusquely, inclining his head. "Now, perhaps I could examine my patients."

Kathryn rolled her eyes in Chakotay's direction. Some things never changed.

"That would be advisable, Captain," Tuvok agreed. 'The medicine we have secured from the Vidians will hopefully eradicate the virus."

Kathryn glanced over at the Security Chief, fixing him with a steady gaze. "Hopefully," she agreed. "And then we have some talking to do."

'Yes, Captain." He nodded. "I will be on the bridge awaiting to hear from you." And without another word, he strode out the door.

"All right," the Doctor's voice intoned, "if you would please make yourselves comfortable on a biobed, we can proceed."

~vVv~

Twenty minutes later, the results were processed and analyzed. The medicine had been effective. There was no trace of the virus in either of their systems."

"Thank goodness," Kathryn breathed, reaching her hand out across the space between her biobed and the one next to her.

Chakotay's hand met hers, their fingers squeezing together in relief. They smiled at each other. As much as each of them might miss their home on New Earth, neither of them had wanted to actually go back.

The Doctor stopped and sighed, staring down at them. Their joined hands blocked his way.

"Sorry," Kathryn said, pulling her hand away from Chakotay's, a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment crossing her features. She knew it was a feeling that she would have to get used to; she suspected that their relationship would come under close scrutiny from the entire crew. Perhaps the Doctor's reactions would be a good trial to go through.

But whatever he thought about their relationship was offset by Kes' reaction. Kathryn could tell that the young Ocampa thought it was wonderful. As was the fact that they were expecting a baby.

"It will be so good to have another child on board. Ensign Wildman's baby is almost one and a half now." Kes' hand gently patted the captain's arm.

"How is her baby?" Kathryn asked. She'd thought of the child often.

"Oh, she's perfect. So bright and happy. Everyone wants to baby-sit. Even Neelix," she added with a trace of pride. "He's getting to be very good with children."

"Perhaps he can teach Chakotay a thing or two," Kathryn said softly.

"I heard that." Chakotay's voice called from the other bed.

"Speaking of babies, Captain," the Doctor said, "you will be pleased to know that yours is just fine. It shows no adverse effect to your exposure to the virus. In two and a half months, you and Commander Chakotay will be parents. Would you like to know the sex of your child?"

She shook her head. "No, thank you. We already know."

The Doctor looked from Kathryn to Chakotay. "Don't tell me... It came to you in a vision."

Chakotay smiled. "Something like that."

The Doctor turned his gaze back to the captain. "I'd like you to get some rest before I release you."

"Doctor, I'm fine, and I have things to do." She started to get up.

The Doctor placed a hand on her shoulder and held her still. "Not right now you don't."

Kes touched her arm again. "He's right, Captain. You need to rest."

The Doctor stepped away, but Kes stayed beside her, talking to her quietly. "I think by this evening you'll be ready to return to your own quarters. I'm sure it will seem very strange to be back after all this time."

"It will. But I'm looking forward to it. I thought about—"

"Ow!" The sound issued from Chakotay, and the two women looked over at him.

"That did not hurt," the Doctor stated. He was standing next to the biobed, holding Chakotay's right leg. "Either I am experiencing holographic deja vu, or I've repaired this leg before."

Chakotay gave him a slightly irritated look. "It's not deja vu. You've repaired it before. And, yes, it did hurt. It's not your leg."

"Of course, it's not my leg," the Doctor replied somewhat sharply. "I have better sense than to allow my leg to be broken for the third time. That is, if it were possible for my leg to be broken, which it's not." He turned the leg in his hands again, and Chakotay's face tightened.

"Believe me, Doc. It hurts," he managed through gritted teeth.

"Very well." The Doctor dropped the leg back to the surface of the bed.

And Chakotay cringed, glancing over at Kathryn and Kes with a pleading look on his face.

Kes moved over to his biobed. "Doctor, perhaps we should administer a pain suppressant before we continue."

The Doctor drew in a breath. "I suppose if it will make the Commander feel better, although placing him under a bone regeneration unit won't cause him any pain."

"But, it might help him relax," Kes countered. She'd run interference on the Doctor's bedside manner for almost two years now, and although the Doctor was improving, her skills were always beneficial.

Chakotay sighed with relief when he felt the hypospray against his neck. He settled his head on the pillow and watched as the Doctor positioned the regeneration unit over his leg.

"Two hours and you should be as good as new," he said.

Chakotay stared up at him. "Two hours? It didn't take that long last time."

The Doctor frowned, giving him an exasperated look. "Last time you were not foolish enough to walk on it for over a week. Although the bone was set properly, and with time it would have healed just fine, I am afraid that the limited medical expertise available to you on the planet has impeded the healing process. Two hours, Commander, take it or leave it."

"I'll take it."

"Wise choice. Of course, it was the only true option available to you. Now," the Doctor took a step away from his patients, "I suggest the two of you try to get some sleep. I have some reports to write."

And he was gone, disappearing into his office.

Kes remained. "He's gotten better since you've been away. Really, he has. I think...I think he's very relieved to have you back and well... He still gets rather frightened by his own emotions."

"Thats all right, Kes," Kathryn assured her. "I wouldn't have him any other way."

And Chakotay agreed. "Neither would I."

~vVv~

She stood in the middle of her quarters; it was hard to believe she was actually there. Everything was just as she remembered it. And yet... something didn't feel right. Something was missing.

The door chime sounded and she turned. "Come in."

The door slid open and Chakotay stepped inside.

She smiled when she realized that the something that was missing was him.

He stepped over to her and took his hands in hers. "My quarters haven't changed a bit," he said.

They'd decided to return to their cabins on their own for a while, but Kathryn knew that he couldn't have been in his for longer than a few minutes.

"But," he shrugged, "I don't feel like they're my quarters anymore." He exhaled a long breath, his eyes searching hers.

She nodded, feeling the same way. "I know what you mean." She squeezed his hands. "We'll just have to find a new cabin. One with two bedrooms," she added, glancing down at her stomach.

"You're right. Should we go looking for one this afternoon, or stay here for the night?"

Kathryn glanced around the cabin. This wasn't her home anymore; it hadn't been for a very long time. She gazed back into Chakotay's eyes. "Let's not wait. I want to sleep in our new home tonight."

~vVv~


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Notes:** If you've already read Chapter 10, you may want to read it again. I accidentally left out two "angst-filled" sections at the beginning, but I've fixed the chapter and reposted it. Thanks again for reading!

Tuvok located them a larger cabin on the same deck, just far enough away from their old cabins to let them feel as if they'd at least moved neighborhoods. It was actually two smaller cabins that had been joined quickly by a team of crewmen. The double opening between them allowed for a larger kitchen and another bedroom and bathroom.

Kathryn surveyed the floor plan. "I like it, but it's going to be a while before I allow our baby to sleep in her own bedroom." She laughed. "It's just too far away."

"It is," Chakotay agreed, "that's why I got the crewmen to do this." He took her hand and led her into their bedroom.

In one comer, a curtain separated a small alcove from the rest of the room. Chakotay drew back the curtain. "I think her cradle will fit just fine right here."

Kathryn smiled and ran her hand along his cheek. "You think of everything."

"I try."

She sighed and the smile on her face faded. "Can you think of an easy way for us to explain...'us' to the rest of the crew?"

He shook his head, a mischievous smirk playing over his lips. "And you don't think the rumors haven't spread already. There were five crewmen in here earlier today creating a new home for the captain and first officer."

"Oh, I'm sure the rumors are flying. But...we need to announce something...official. We're...having a baby, Chakotay!"

He pulled her close to him, his arms encircling her. "Marry me," he breathed.

And Kathryn tensed unconsciously. She hadn't been expecting to hear that.

He asked her again. "Marry me?"

"Chakotay..."

"You wanted to make an official announcement." He kissed her on the cheek. "And I can't think of anything more official than a wedding." He brushed his fingers over her forehead, pushing back soft strands of her hair. "I want everyone to know how much I love you. So...will you marry me, Kathryn Janeway?"

She gazed into his eyes, eyes that she knew so well, eyes that she wanted to see shining back at her for the rest of her life.

'Yes," she answered. "I will."

~vVv~

"Wait a minute... You want me to be your... 'best man?"'

He nodded, his expression completely serious.

"But there's an inherent flaw in you logic!"

He held up his hands. "Please, let's not bring up logic. If I'd wanted Tuvok for my 'best man,' I would have asked him. And I didn't. I asked you."

The person he was talking to paced back across the room for the tenth time. "And how do you think the captain will feel about this?"

He smiled serenely. "I've already told her. She thinks it's a wonderful idea. And besides, who says a 'best man' has to be a man?"

B'Elanna Torres stopped her pacing and stared at Chakotay. "That's why they call it a 'best _man,'" _she emphasized.

He shook his head. He'd missed their conversations. If you could call them that. Most of the time, they'd walked a thin line between conversing and arguing. But he didn't want to argue now.

"B'Elanna...you're one of my best friends. We've been through a lot together. And most of what we've been through hasn't been... Well, unfortunately, the bad times have outweighed the good. I want you to be a part of this."

B'Elanna crossed her arms over her chest and stared down at the floor. Chakotay could sense her uncertainty.

He took a step closer to her. "What do you say?"

She sighed, her shoulders rising and falling. "It's just..." She swallowed and looked back up at him. "It's a lot to get used to, Chakotay. We thought...we'd never see you again. Either of you. And now...you're back. You're...together." Her eyes grew wide. 'You're going to have a baby!"

He nodded slowly. 'Yes. We are." He sighed, pressing his lips together into a tight line. There was more bothering B'Elanna besides deciding whether to be his 'best man.' And he was beginning to doubt his choice. He'd always known that B'Elanna had looked up to him, and there had been times, long ago, when he'd thought that maybe there was more between them. But their relationship had always been platonic, and he'd come to think of himself as a big brother figure in her eyes. He exhaled another sigh. And maybe that's all there was to it now. It probably wasn't easy losing your big brother to your captain.

He reached out and wrapped his hand around her arm. "B'Elanna... I will always be here for you, you know that?"

She swallowed again, shaking her head in acknowledgment.

He continued. "And I know Kathryn and I are...throwing a lot at the crew on short notice, but... it was a long fourteen months on that planet. And even before, I knew..." His voice trailed off.

"I know," B'Elanna said, her eyes meeting his. And she did know. Had known for a long time. Deep down, she'd been aware of Chakotay's feelings for the captain: his devotion, his love. She covered his hand with hers. "I'm happy for you, Chakotay. For both of you." Her lips quivered into a smile. "And... it would be an honor...to be your 'best man.'"

~vVv~

Before they were able to schedule their wedding, there was some official business to return to. Namely, the running of the ship. They'd taken a few days to rest once they were back on board, but after the second day, they were both eager to return to the bridge. Eager, but uncertain.

"What do you think?" Kathryn stepped away from the dressing area and stood before the bed.

Chakotay glanced up from the data padd he was reviewing. Kathryn was wearing a modified uniform: black trousers and a red and black dress jacket.

"I talked with Ensign Wildman; she gave me the specifications. How do I look?"

Chakotay said the first thing that came to his mind. "Pregnant."

Kathryn rolled her eyes. "Other than that?"

He returned his gaze to the padd he was holding. "You look fine," he replied, his mind still focused on the data before him.

She collapsed onto the end of the bed. "No. You're right. I just look... pregnant."

The movement of the bed, and the distressed tone of her voice, drew Chakotay's full attention. He set the data padd aside and crawled down next to her. He brushed his hand across her shoulders, drawing her long hair away from her neck. "You look beautiful."

His words elicited a frown. "I don't want to look beautiful. I want to look commanding."

"Oh. Maybe a phaser in one hand and a...Starfleet rule book in the other?" he suggested, and then kissed her tenderly on the side of her neck.

She leaned into him, despite the exasperated sigh she released. "Chakotay...you're not helping."

'Kathryn, what do you want me to do? You're pregnant. We can't change that." He sat down beside her. "And that's not going to change you. You are the captain of this ship. What you wear won't make a difference."

She gazed over at him. "What about us?"

"What about us?" he repeated her question, not sure what she was asking.

"As a command team. Captain and First Officer."

Light dawned. "Are you worried about us working together?"

She inclined her head. "A little bit." She sighed. "Chakotay... You're about to become my husband. I've...never been in command of a husband before."

"And you never will be." He gave her a sly grin. "Kathryn... Captain... When we're on that bridge, I'm your first officer. I expect you to treat me the same as you have in the past. When we're here, in these quarters, that's...a different story. No one's in command in here." He placed a hand against her stomach. "Of course, that may change in a couple of months."

She covered his hand with hers. "And probably will." She hesitated. "I don't know...if I can treat you the same as I have in the past. We're not the same people we were then. Too much has happened." She squeezed his hand. "But I'll try. For the sake of the crew."

"Good. I'll help." His eyes glinted mischievously.

"And how are you going to help me treat you like a first officer?" Kathryn inquired.

He shrugged. "The usual ways: questioning your authority, overstepping my boundaries, insisting on doing all the dangerous work, and...basically being the bull-headed Maquis you've always known and loved."

Kathryn laughed and shook her head, moving her hand to his cheek, fingers brushing up over his tattoo. "Don't push your luck, Mister. I'd hate to confine my first officer to the brig for insubordination."

Chakotay pursed his lips and let out a long sigh. "I'll be careful. But it's nice to know that I have connections in high places."

"Those connections may not pull any weight with Tuvok," she warned.

Chakotay wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gently pressed her back onto the bed. "I'm not worried about Tuvok," he whispered, his lips touching her cheek. "Security Chiefs don't scare me."

She stared up at him, a grin playing across her lips, her hand rubbing over his neck and through his hair. "They don't?"

"Um-um," he murmured, kissing her again. "Just captains."

~vVv~

Kathryn strode from the turbolift, Chakotay close behind her. At the conn, Tom Paris rose to his feet, Harry Kim and the rest of the crew following his example.

Tuvok was already standing. "Welcome back, Captain, Commander," he intoned, looking up at them.

Kathryn gave the Vulcan a slight smile, and then nodded, a silent transfer of command. Tuvok returned to his security console, and Chakotay crossed to his station and sat down. Kathryn walked to the center of the bridge.

She looked around, her eyes surveying her crew. Everyone's gaze was on her.

"Thank you all," she said "It's good to be back. I know it's been a long time, and there have been a lot of changes. But nothing we can't handle." She glanced over at Chakotay. "The commander and I want you to know that as far as we're concerned, it's business as usual." She smiled, and saw them all visibly relax. She took several steps closer to the viewscreen. "Well, we've lost time with all this. Let's see if we can't make some of it up." She inclined her head at the pilot standing before her. "Mister Paris, warp eight."

"Aye, Captain." And with a smile, he turned back to his station and sat down, glad to be following her orders again. Around the bridge, the crew returned their attention to their duties.

Kathryn turned to her command chair, addressing Chakotay as she walked over to it. "Commander, we'll need to review the ship's systems," she instructed, taking her seat. "I'll handle propulsion, environmental, and communication." She stared straight ahead. "You'll be responsible for sensors, weapons, and transporters."

Chakotay's eyes were focused on the command console between their chairs. "Aye, Captain. I'll have a report to you by 1800 hours."

His fingers touched the appropriate sensor padds, entering data as she spoke.

Kathryn had already read the ship's logs for the past week, so she was familiar with some on-going concerns. "Check with phaser maintenance. See if they solved that problem with the pre-fire chamber temperature."

'Yes, ma'am. I'll see to it."

~vVv~


	12. Chapter 12

"Come in."

Chakotay stepped through the door of her ready room, and she smiled over at him. She was lying on the sofa next to the viewport. He smiled back.

"I'm glad to see you're resting," he said, striding across the room and settling on the edge of the coffee table next to her.

"Doctor's orders," she informed him. "And, my future husband gets very outdone with me if I don't take care of myself."

"Smart man," Chakotay commented.

She nodded in agreement. "Very. But he has this annoying habit of leaving his bath towel on the floor."

Chakotay's expression tensed. "Sounds serious. I'll have to have a talk with him."

Kathryn laughed, and then noticed the data padd in his hand. "You're here as a first officer, aren't you?" she said, frowning slightly at her lapse in protocol. She sat up and reached for the padd.

"Well, I was, but as a future husband I'd rather you lie back down."

She waved his concern away. "No. I've been resting for almost an hour." She took the padd. "Is this the report on sensors, weapons, and transporters?"

He nodded. "That's it. You did say by 1800 hours."

"I did. Thank you, Commander."

"You're welcome, Captain."

She glanced over the information.

"And the pre-fire chamber problem is solved," he told her.

She looked up. "That's good." And then she paused, setting the padd on the sofa beside her. "Chakotay...I hope you don't think I was...too formal out there." She inclined her head toward the bridge.

He smiled at her and shook his head. "Don't worry. You were just fine. But...at some point, we are going to have to look at each other."

Kathryn pursed her lips into a frown...that turned into a grin. "I couldn't. I was afraid I would laugh...or cry."

"I felt the same way. It'll get better. Captain." He stood. "I'll be on the bridge if you need anything." He crossed to the door, but then stopped and glanced back.

Kathryn was hastily tucking loose strands of hair into the bun on the back of her head. She looked over at him, realizing that he'd hesitated.

He grinned at her. "I just wanted to say that... I still think we work well together, don't you?"

~vVv~

"It wasn't a bad day," Chakotay observed, taking a well-deserved sip of real coffee.

Across from him, Kathryn ran a hand over the back of her neck. "No. It was just long." She exhaled a deep, exhausted breath. "Even with a nap."

"I don't want you overdoing it," he said, resting worried eyes upon her.

"I'm not. It's just... .going to take a while to get settled back into the routine."

He reached out and set his cup on the table. "Well, before we get totally settled back, we need to decide on a time."

"A time?"

"For our wedding."

"Oh, that's right."

"You know, I've already asked B'Elanna to be my 'best man.'"

Kathryn smiled over at him. "She told me. She's very pleased that you want her to be a part of the ceremony." She relaxed back into her chair. "I've asked Kes to be my maid of honor. And I thought, perhaps, Tuvok could perform the marriage."

The lines of Chakotay's tattoo climbed higher into his hairline as he arched an eyebrow. "And would those be Federation vows or...something Vulcan?"

Amusement touched her eyes. "I think we'll stick with Federation, unless..." She gazed over at him. "Chakotay, you've never mentioned anything about... Native American wedding vows."

Tension creased across his face and Kathryn moved her chair closer to his. She reached out and touched his arm.

"Chakotay?"

He shook his head. "I'm all right. I..." He drew in a breath, let it out. "I never mentioned them because... Well, I never thought that I'd be getting married, and a tribal wedding isn't something that I ever imagined myself being involved with. It's...a beautiful ceremony. The customs of my people are important to me. But...Native American wedding vows, well...I'd rather have a ceremony that is meaningful to you."

"Chakotay, any ceremony would be meaningful to me, as long you're there."

He grinned slowly. "I feel the same way. So...let's not confuse Tuvok. We'll let him give the official Starfleet version of Federation vows."

Kathryn ran a hand over his shoulder. "All right." She touched the back of his neck, fingers cool against his skin. "Now, tell me the real reason why you don't want a Native American ceremony." She felt him tense, and his eyes narrowed.

"You're good." He sighed. "What I just told you...that is the truth."

"But not all of it?"

He chewed at his lower lip, his eyes dropping away from hers. "You're right. That's not all of it." He swallowed, a tightness growing in his throat. "In our tribe, a man's father plays a very large role in his son's wedding. Certain vows, rituals. And if your father isn't living, then an elder of the tribe will stand in for him."

Kathryn moved closer to him. She knew how much Chakotay missed his father, how much he regretted the years that they'd spent at odds with each other, how he could never forgive himself for the words that had gone unspoken.

"If we were on Dorvan V, maybe... But here..." His voice trailed off.

"I'm sorry, Chakotay. I know how you feel about your father." She rubbed her hand over the tense muscles in his shoulders.

"It's all right. The memories are there." A soft smile lit his eyes. "And... regardless of the ceremony we have, my father will be there with us."

~vVv~

"But it's your responsibility, B'Elanna. You're the 'best man'!"

B'Elanna swung around in the corridor and stared at the pilot. "Paris!" Her voice was loud and she caught herself, made a conscious effort to lower it. "I don't know anything about planning a...what did you call it?"

Tom nodded. "A stag party."

"It sounds like it has something to do with deer."

The blond headed man rolled his eyes toward the ceiling. "Not exactly. Now, listen carefully, this is how it works."

~vVv~

"You're not?" Kathryn looked up from her desk. Chakotay stood before her.

He spread his hands in front of him in a helpless gesture. "But they invited me. I couldn't turn them down."

"A stag party?"

"I believe it's...a tradition."

"It is." She stood and walked around the corner of her desk, then propped herself on the edge, her arms crossed over her stomach. "But, I thought we decided that we weren't going to follow every wedding tradition that came along."

"No." His face remained maddeningly passive. "But this one sounded...fun."

Kathryn suppressed a weary sigh. "And what am I supposed to be doing while you're out...having fun?"

"Kes mentioned something to me about a...hen party. She said she'd asked B'Elanna, but as 'best man,' B'Elanna has to be at the stag party." Chakotay smiled. "Poor Torres. She's confused. Has no idea what deer and chickens have to do with getting married."

"Nothing," Kathryn responded. "Absolutely nothing."

Chakotay blew out a breath through pursed lips. "Well, perhaps not. But tonight, I've got to meet some deer, and you have a date with the chickens."

~vVv~

"Kes, this is lovely," Kathryn said, surveying the table in the young woman's quarters. "You shouldn't have gone to the trouble."

Kes smiled, her soft, blue eyes sparkling. "It was no trouble, Captain. It was fun." She looked over at Ensign Wildman. "Samantha helped me."

"It's wonderful." Kathryn picked up a plate and began to fill it with several of the bite-sized appetizers. "You must have gotten Neelix to help, too."

"He insisted," Kes replied. "In fact, he wanted to be here, but I had to tell him that only women were invited. At least, that's what the data base in the computer said."

Kathryn picked up a cup of punch and turned around, looking for a place to sit. There were over a dozen crew members present, mostly bridge crew and engineering staff, people she had the most contact with the during the day. Except of course for the men. She suspected that many of them were off somewhere at the stag party.

"Besides, Tom asked Neelix to another party. One for Commander Chakotay." Kes sat down on the sofa next to the captain. "B'Elanna and I were puzzled over that one, but I looked it up in the computer also, and now I understand. Earth has some very strange customs."

Kathryn laughed. "Yes, they do."

"Oh, but not near as strange as some of the wedding customs on Bolarus IX." A Bolian engineering technician, Tova, sat down across from them. "Did you know that the Bolian male has to eat non stop for twenty-four hours before the ceremony. And then afterwards, he's not _allowed _to eat for another twenty-four hours."

Kathryn took a bite of a small Talaxian tomato quiche, and shook her head. "I didn't know that. What about Bolian females?"

Tova shrugged. "There are no rules that govern the females."

"Well, you're lucky then." Derri Tallton, one of Tuvok's security force, spoke up. "You all know what wedding ceremonies on Betazed are like."

Kes looked at the Betazoid blankly. "I don't."

"Well, you don't want to get married on a cold day," Derri responded. "Nobody wears any clothes."

Kes' eyes widened. "Nobody?"

"Nobody."

Kathryn smiled. "Well, I don't think we'll be having a Betazoid ceremony."

And a ripple of laughter spread through the room. Kathryn could only imagine the image her words had placed in their minds. And she laughed right along with the rest of them.

~vVv~

"Oh, Tommy, a wedding? You cannot be getting married unless it is to me." The blonde woman leaned close to Tom, a pouting expression on her face.

"No, no, Sandrine. It's not me," he assured her. "It's the Big Guy over here." He slapped his hand between the first officer's shoulder blades, and Chakotay gasped, the mouthful of synthale he'd just drunk sputtering across the bar. "He's the one getting married. And to the captain no less."

Chakotay drew in a breath and turned his gaze to the man beside him. "Paris, lay off." He picked up his mug and took another drink.

"He is a man of few words, Tommy," the holographic woman said.

"You know what they say, Sandrine, still waters run...low." Tom tilted his head in an attempt to look wise.

"That is not what they say." Tuvok stood on the other side of Chakotay. "The actual saying is 'Still waters run deep.' But, that is not always accurate. Turbulent waters can be deep, and still waters can be shallow. And, technically, still waters do not run at all."

"It's a saying, Tuvok. So I...changed it a little. The meaning is still intact."

"Which is more than I can say for you." Tuvok peered at the glass Tom was holding. "Are you drinking synthale, Lieutenant?"

"I was. A long time ago. Now, I'm not." He held his glass up in a toast, and then downed the contents in one gulp. Reaching over the bar, he picked up a half empty bottle, uncorked it and filled his glass. He also poured some of the liquid into Chakotay's mug, causing the synthale to fizz. "A present from Neelix. Talaxian cooking sherry."

Tuvok arched an eyebrow. "Talaxian cooking sherry?"

He reached for the bottle, but Tom pulled it away.

"It's a present for the commander, and I told him I'd take care of it." He tucked the bottle under his arm. "Sorry, Tuvok." He walked away from the bar, Sandrine traipsing after him.

"Commander?" Tuvok leaned closer to Chakotay.

"Huh?" the first officer responded sluggishly.

"I believe you are intoxicated."

Chakotay stared at him with glazed eyes. "Intoxi... Speak English, Tuvok. I don't understand Vulcan."

"Never mind, Commander." He nodded toward the mug in Chakotay's hand. "Carry on."

"Harry...Harry, Harry, Harry, Harry," Tom's voice sing-songed from the other side of the tavern. "Get in the spirit."

The young ensign was trying to fend off two holographic women and shoot pool at the same time. "I'm trying, Tom. But B'Elanna is beating me. She's good at this game."

"I'm good at every game, Starfleet," the half-Klingon woman shot back.

"And she is exceptionally good at this game," Neelix defended her, filling up the glass that sat on the edge of the pool table. He had an identical bottle to the one Tom was holding.

B'Elanna picked up the glass and knocked back a swig. "Not bad," she commented.

And Neelix re-filled it to the rim.

"You see, the dame here has got a good angle on the table." The holographic pool sharp, Gaunt Gary, was explaining the finer points to the Doctor. "But what the young guy don't know, is that she's just lucky. No skill in her game, really."

"Did you say something, you obnoxious slime pig?" B'Elanna demanded.

Gary held up his hands and took a step back. "Nothing, Doll. Just shoot."

Chakotay turned away from the bar and walked over to the pool table. Tuvok took note of the fact that he wasn't exactly walking in a straight line. Except for himself, and perhaps the Doctor, none of them were. He exhaled a long breath, the equivalent to a Vulcan sigh. The captain would not be pleased. She hadn't officially asked him to keep the "stag party" under control, but he had wanted to. He should have been more observant. But Neelix's Talaxian "sherry" had made several rounds before he was aware of it.

Chakotay set his mug on the comer of the table, and pointed a finger at the pool shark. "Don't...call her...Doll." His voice was rough and quietly threatening.

"Hey, hey, hey. Chakotay." Tom bounced over to him, a hand held out. "Gary didn't mean anything by it. He's...sorry. Aren't you?"

The hologram glanced from one man to the other. "Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry."

Chakotay nodded, picked up his mug, and took a drink.

Gary looked back at Tom. "The Indian's touchy."

"Nah. He's just nervous. Gonna get married tomorrow."

"Corner pocket, Harry," B'Elanna said from the end of the table.

"Call a safety," Neelix yelled.

"I don't need a safety! I got the shot made."

"So, who's he marrying?" Gary leaned in closer to Tom.

"He's marrying the captain. Kathryn Janeway."

"Oh, yeah. I remember her. Skinny dame, with a bun on her head. Damn sexy. That's one lady I'd like to treat like a tramp."

Silence fell over the tavern, the only sound was the white cue ball bumping into the green ball. All eyes were on Chakotay.

He set his mug in the middle of the pool table, and slowly turned toward Gaunt Gary. "What was that?"

"Congratulations, Mister Indian. That's one fine looking dame you're getting. Wouldn't mind having some of her myself."

"You wouldn't?" His voice was measured and level, and if you didn't already know, you wouldn't have been able to tell that he was fairly intoxicated. He started to turn away, and then seemed to change his mind, bringing his fist up in a sharp right cuff to the hologram's jaw.

Gary stumbled back, knocking into Tom, sending him flying. The hologram grabbed a pool cue and advanced on Chakotay. The holographic gigolo, seeing that a fellow hologram was engaged in a brawl, jumped to his defense. Everyone surged forward, taking sides, fists flying. Even Sandrine found a vase to throw into the tangle of arms and legs.

"Computer. End program." Tuvok's voice called out seconds later, and he silently reprimanded himself for not reacting faster. He was fairly sure that Neelix had not had the opportunity to spike his drink, but there was that possibility.

The yellow and black grid walls of the Holodeck appeared around them, and Tuvok surveyed the people scattered before him. Tom was still flat on his back, Chakotay was on his hands and knees, Harry and B'Elanna were blinking at each other in surprise, Neelix was standing with his arms over his head, and the other half dozen or so crewmen that had also been present were glancing at each other nervously, not quite sure what had happened. And the Doctor, of course, was gone.

"I think this...'stag party' is over," Tuvok declared, stepping over to Chakotay. "I suggest all of you find your way back to your quarters." He reached down and took hold of Chakotay's arm and carefully pulled him up.

The first officer came up with a groan, a trickle of blood at the comer of his mouth. Although the holodeck did have fail-safes, they usually only guarded against serious injuries. A common, ordinary bar fight still held a certain element of danger.

"I suggest that you let me accompany you to Sickbay, Commander."

Chakotay waved him away. "No... no. I'm fine." He wiped the back of his hand over his mouth.

"Eye looks a little puffy, Old Man," B'Elanna noted, coming closer.

"Well, no thanks to you, Torres. Or you." He turned a hard gaze on Tom.

"I tried, Big Guy."

"Yeah. Sure." Chakotay took a wavering step away from them. "I'm going home," he announced.

Tom caught up with him. "Then you'd better head toward the door." He turned the first officer around.

"I still think the commander should go to Sickbay," Tuvok said again.

"No, Tuvok...I'm fine." And Chakotay left the holodeck with Tom trailing after him.

~vVv~

"And then...you hit him," Tom said, rounding a bend in the corridor.

"No. He hit...first. That's...what...we...tell...her." Chakotay pointed at the younger man, even as he leaned against his shoulder for support.

"But that's not what happened. Believe me, Chakotay. You wanna tell her the truth...at all times." He patted the commander's back. "You got a good thing going. Don't mess it up."

Chakotay nodded. "Yeah...yeah, you're right."

They came to the door of Chakotay and Kathryn's cabin and they stood there.

"Code," Tom mumbled. "Put in your code."

Chakotay blinked at him. "Code?"

"Door code. Open the door."

Chakotay shook his head, his eyes blank.

"Ah." Tom grimaced and pressed the door chime. A couple of times.

He pulled Chakotay back from the door. Best not to let him fall through when it opened.

Minutes later, the door slid away. And Tom blinked. And then stared. He'd never seen the captain in a robe before. Pink looked good on her. She was a lovely pregnant woman. But he kept the compliment to himself.

Kathryn drew in a breath and shook her head. She'd been expecting this. But Tom Paris on her doorstep, barely holding up a very drunk Chakotay, was a sight that almost made her laugh. Almost being the key word in the thought.

"Kath... Kathryn," Chakotay managed.

And that's when she noticed his eye and the comer of his mouth that was bleeding again. "What happened?" She reached out and took hold of one arm. Tom still had the other one. Together, they walked Chakotay into the cabin.

"Just a little...bar fight," Tom admitted, his voice suddenly very quiet in the middle of his captain's quarters.

"I... I hit first," Chakotay mumbled.

"That's comforting to know. In here," Kathryn instructed, heading into the bedroom. "Let's get him on the bed before he falls down."

They set Chakotay on the side of the bed, and he fell back against the pillows. Tom took a step back.

"Um...I'm sorry about this, Captain. We didn't...plan...to..."

"Bring him home drunk?" she suggested.

"No, of course not." Tom took another step back. "I had no idea that he'd... He's a very quiet drinker... I mean, you don't realize that..."

Kathryn clamped her mouth into a thin line. And then sighed. It wasn't Tom's fault.

"Thank you for bringing him home, Tom. Can you find your way back to your own cabin?"

"Oh, sure. No problem." He moved quickly to the door. "I'll see you... tomorrow...at...the wedding," he said meekly.

"Let's hope he makes it."

"He will... I'm sure..."

"Goodnight, Tom." Kathryn leaned against the doorway as her best pilot stumbled into the corridor. And then the door closed.

Tom wiped a hand over his forehead and blew out a long breath. He was thankful that he wasn't the commander at that moment.

~vVv~

"Kath...ryn!"

She hurried back into the bedroom to find Chakotay halfway across the room, heading for the bathroom. She looped an arm under his shoulders and helped him inside and over to the toilet. One arm held him while he threw up, and the other reached over and retrieved a cloth from the rack by the sink.

Gently, she ran the damp cloth over his forehead and across the back of his neck until his shoulders stopped heaving, and he pulled back. She felt him sag against her arm and she strengthened her hold, managing to get him back to the bed.

He lay back against the pillows and looked up at her. Somehow, losing the contents of his stomach seemed to sober him up a bit, and she could see the regret trace across his features.

"Sorry," he murmured, as she wiped his face again, dabbing at the comer of his lip, and careful with his left eye.

"You should be." She smiled, despite the state he was in. He smelled of alcohol. At least, she assumed it was alcohol, although the odor wasn't entirely familiar to her. She started to undress him.

"Should have seen... the other guy," Chakotay slurred as she tugged his shirt off over his head.

"Worse than you, huh?"

Chakotay laughed. "Lot...worse."

Kathryn pulled his trousers off and then just left him in his underwear, not bothering to put pajamas on him. She suspected that undressing a drunk man was a lot easier than dressing one. She pulled the covers over him.

"Get some sleep, Chakotay." She kissed his forehead. "Believe it or not, but you're getting married in the morning."

"That's nice." He grinned up at her, and then passed out.

~vVv~


	13. Chapter 13

Someone touched his face and Chakotay opened his right eye, then closed it. The room was definitely too bright. He felt the touch on his face again, and he grunted as soft fingers gently probed the area around his left eye.

"This doesn't look too bad," an equally soft voice determined.

And Chakotay felt a slight tingling sensation as the person scanned some sort of medical instrument over the injury. He forced himself to open his right eye again. The person was Kes. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding the instrument just above his left eye.

"Good morning, Commander."

"Morning," he managed, though the word set off a pounding in his head. He winced and gave an involuntary groan.

"I'll take care of this eye and your lip, and then give you something for that headache."

"Oh, no. Let him keep the headache for a while. It'll teach him a lesson." A loud voice came from somewhere over Kes' shoulder.

Chakotay stiffened as the sound ricocheted off his brain, each word like an old-fashioned bullet. "Shh," he heard himself breathing a long whisper.

And Kathryn's face came into view, standing behind Kes. "I'm sorry. Am I being too loud?" She didn't lower her voice at all.

Chakotay stared up at her with his good eye. "I know...I probably...deserve this, but..." He swallowed and blinked as Kes shifted the instrument to the corner of his mouth. "Please, not so loud. It hurts my—"

"Shh. No talking, Commander. I need to take care of this small cut on your lip."

Kathryn shook her head. She knew she should take pity on him, for he looked fairly pitiful lying there, his face pale, eyes bloodshot, the muscles in his shoulders and neck stiff. He held his head at an odd angle on the pillow, and she suspected it was the only position that he could find that kept it from falling off.

Kes finished with his lip and Kathryn sighed. "Go ahead and give him something for the monumental headache I know he has. And do you have anything that will change his eyes back to your basic brown, without the red highlights?" Kathryn laughed despite the look he gave her.

Kes pressed a hypospray to Chakotay's neck, and then took a bottle of eye drops from the medical kit. She held each eye open and dropped a small amount of medicine into first the right and then the left.

"Keep your eyes closed for a few minutes, Commander. You'll feel better soon." She patted him on the arm and got up from the edge of the bed.

"Thank you, Kes," Chakotay mumbled. "It's nice to know...someone cares."

Kes smiled in the captain's direction. "He'll be fine."

They walked to the outer door of the cabin and Kathryn reached out and squeezed Kes' hand. "Thanks." She drew in a breath. "And I'll see you in... three hours."

"Call if you need me before then." And Kes turned and disappeared down the corridor.

Kathryn returned to the bedroom. Chakotay was lying motionless, his eyes still closed, but he sensed her presence.

"Kes cares," he said, his tone slightly hurt and accusing.

Kathryn sat down on the bed beside him. "And who do you think called Kes in the first place?"

He slowly opened one eye and then the other, a slight, apologetic frown crossing his lips. "Thanks," he murmured.

Kathryn ran her hand over his hair. "You're welcome." His eyes were clear now, and except for the paleness in his cheeks, his face was back to normal, the swelling around his eye and mouth gone. "How's your head?"

He nodded carefully, as if testing his reaction to the movement. "Still attached."

"Oh, good. Your eyes are the way I like them...brown."

He cracked a cautious smile. "I'm sorry."

"You should be," Kathryn scolded gently. "But, don't feel too bad. I believe the groom getting drunk the night before his wedding is...a tradition."

Chakotay sighed. "Not a very comfortable one."

"No," she agreed, resting her hand on his chest. "So, who actually started the fight?"

He squinted up at her, as if in thought, and then answered. "Some Maquis."

Kathryn grinned. "You did hit first."

"I was provoked."

She frowned slightly. "Chakotay...you know how I feel about violence."

He sat up a little higher in the bed. "There's a time and a place for everything," he charged, a favorite saying of his.

She nodded. "And last night was the time, and Sandrine's was the place." The look on her face was a mixture of frustration and humor.

"Yes. But...I couldn't help it."

"You were...provoked?" she prompted.

He sighed again. "Gaunt Gary...insulted the woman I love." He stared at her, trying to give her his best "knight in shining armor" expression.

She stared back, confusion lighting her eyes. "Gaunt...Gary?" She made the connection. "The holographic pool shark? Insulted me?"

Chakotay pursed his lips, and then shrugged slightly, still mindful of the dull ache in his head. "I think he did."

"And you...defended my honor?" A slow smile made its way across her face. She felt like a character in a holonovel.

Chakotay reached over and touched his hand to her cheek. "Sometimes I just can't control that...angry warrior inside of me," he whispered.

She leaned over and kissed him. "Have I told you lately how much I love that warrior?"

~vVv~

"Need some help?"

Kathryn stood in the bathroom doorway watching Chakotay attempt a very delicate and dangerous operation: shaving while still in the aftermath of a Talaxian sherry-induced hangover. Despite Kes' treatment, he was still unsteady and his head still ached.

He glanced over at her, the razor poised in front of his chin. He was an old-fashioned shaver, preferring a twin-blade razor to more modern shaving instruments.

He gave her a weak smile. "I could...use some assistance. Especially if you'd rather me not cut off my head before the ceremony."

He looked almost comical, standing in front of the mirror, nothing on but his underwear, his face covered in shaving cream. But oddly balanced, color coordinated. His face white, his shorts white, his chest, arms, and legs deeply bronzed.

Kathryn laughed softly and stepped over to him, gently taking the razor from his hand. Positioning herself in front of him, she leaned against the sink, and held his chin between her fingers. She tilted his head back and carefully ran the razor along his neck.

Chakotay stood very still while she shaved him, his eyes closed, his hands hanging loosely at his sides. He trusted her completely. It wasn't the first time she'd helped him with this morning task, and he knew she could wield a razor as well as he could. If not better. He would invariably cut himself, a small nick under the jawline, every other day or so. But Kathryn was skillful and precise, the pressure of her fingers holding his face warm and secure.

She smoothed the shaving cream more evenly over his throat, rinsed the razor in the sink behind her, and then continued, the soft scratch of the blades on his skin the only sound filling the bathroom. Chakotay shivered slightly when a few drops of water dripped off the point of his chin and landed on his bare chest.

"Hold still," Kathryn breathed at his almost imperceptible movement. Carefully, she edged the razor around his mouth. "I don't want to cut this lip again." Her thumb brushed over the fullness of his lower lip. "And besides...they need to be in perfect working condition for our wedding." She moved the razor further up his cheek, along the line of his jaw.

Chakotay opened his eyes, giving her a narrow gaze. "Don't make me smile," he murmured, trying to move his mouth and face as little as possible.

Kathryn drew the razor up to his sideburn and along the top of his jaw bone, almost touching the dark lines at the comer of his eye. "Don't talk," she warned him. "I don't want my hand to slip and accidentally alter your tattoo."

His lips twitched into a small grin, but he didn't say anything. Several minutes later, Kathryn pulled the razor away from his face, picked up a towel, and wiped away the remaining shaving cream.

"All finished," she said, setting the razor and towel down, and smoothing her hands along his cheeks. "You can move now."

And Chakotay took full advantage of his freedom, wrapping his arms around her and stepping closer, pushing her against the sink, the length of his body pressing into hers, and yet careful of her rounded stomach. He covered her mouth with his and kissed her. Kathryn responded, feeling his tongue on her lips and in her mouth, his hands rubbing over her back. She reached up, running her fingers along his neck and through his hair. The kiss deepened, seeming to last forever, searching, longing. Kathryn clutched at his shoulders, trying to draw him even closer to her. Like a teenager, on a first date, she forgot to breathe, and was actually feeling faint when he finally pulled back, his lips nipping at her chin before stopping their movement.

Kathryn breathed and licked her tongue over her still tingling lips. She touched a finger to his lips. "Was that... payment for a job well done?" she sighed.

And Chakotay smiled as her finger traced the line of his mouth.

"Or... have you forgotten that the honeymoon comes after the wedding?" she continued.

"We could start a new tradition," he suggested, his hand moving up her back, fingers pulling through her hair.

Kathryn leaned forward, pressing her face to his neck, breathing in the fresh fragrance of shaving cream, mixed with Chakotay's warm, familiar musky scent. She kissed the tender skin beneath his ear.

"I like new traditions," she murmured.

And they sank down to the floor.

~vVv~

It was a ceremony, on the holodeck, on New Earth. Chakotay's wedding present to Kathryn: their front yard and the view of the mountains.

Every off-duty member of the crew was there, crowded in among the trees, laughing and mingling in the warm sunshine. Chakotay stood in the middle of the clearing with Tuvok and B'Elanna.

"She doesn't know that you've re-created New Earth for the ceremony?" B'Elanna asked, looking around at the scenery.

Chakotay shook his head. "It's a surprise. She left the specifications up to me."

"I believe the captain will be pleased with your choice, Commander," Tuvok said. "It is a pleasant atmosphere."

"Thank you, Tuvok." Chakotay pulled at the collar of his dress uniform. "But I feel a little overdressed for the location."

Beside him, B'Elanna pulled at her own dress uniform. "I do, too. What made you choose Starfleet dress?" She gave him a slightly accusatory glare, as if they were selling out to the enemy.

Chakotay gave her an even smile. "Same reason I chose New Earth."

_To please the captain, _B'Elanna realized.

Harry Kim walked over to them, his clarinet in hand. "When am I supposed to start playing?" he asked.

"As soon as Kes lets me know they're on their way," Chakotay answered.

And, as if on cue, his comm badge sounded.

"Chakotay here."

"Commander...we're ready. We should be there in a few minutes."

"All right, Kes. We're ready here." Chakotay tapped his comm badge off, and looked at Harry. "There's your answer, Harry. An introduction would be nice, and then when the portal opens—"

"I know. Something traditional."

Chakotay smiled and nodded his head in affirmation.

Harry stepped to the side and began to play. The guests began to settle down, conversations fading away. A few minutes later, the portal rolled open and Kes appeared. She was dressed in a light rose colored dress and she carried a bouquet of wild flowers. She proceeded into the holodeck, followed by Kathryn. When the captain crossed the threshold, the music shifted into a traditional wedding march.

Chakotay smiled at his bride, and he heard the assembled guests gasp and murmur around him. Kathryn was stunning. She wore a silk and taffeta dress of the palest yellow, with a lace collar and sleeves; very reminiscent of the clothing he knew she preferred in her holonovels. Her hair, as usual, was piled high on to the back of her head, but drawn up softly, curling wisps framing her face, and brushing against her shoulders.

As she drew nearer, Chakotay could see the smile on her face as she glanced around at the world that had been their home. And when she reached him and stopped, standing close beside him, he gazed into her eyes and knew she was pleased with his choice.

He took her hand in his, and they turned and faced Tuvok.

"Throughout the ages..." Tuvok's voice was strong and clear, and his words carried over the crowd.

Chakotay listened to the vows, and minutes later, felt B'Elanna's hand pushing a ring into his. Gently, he placed the ring on Kathryn's finger. And then, a moment later, she placed an almost identical one on his. The weight of the gold band on his finger felt good. A solid tradition that he readily accepted.

And then he kissed the bride. And that was the nicest tradition of all.

~vVv~

Neelix had outdone himself. Table after table of extravagant food and cakes. The guests wandered around the woodland setting enjoying themselves immensely.

"You know, if I'd realized what a wonderful morale booster a wedding could be, I'd have gotten married a long time ago," Kathryn laughed.

"Weddings...weddings..." Neelix thought out loud, steepling his fingers in front of him in contemplation.

Kes smiled at the animated expression on the Talaxian's face. "Don't give him any ideas, Captain. He'll start playing matchmaker."

"Not that he hasn't already," Tom commented. "He just hasn't given it an official business name... 'Neelix's Dating Service.'"

Neelix shook a finger at him. "It has a certain ring to it. I like it."

"Slow down, Mister Neelix," Kathryn tried to curb his excitement. "You're already my guide, chief cook, and morale officer, dating consultant may be one too many jobs for you to handle."

Neelix smiled at his list of credentials. "Still, it is something to consider."

Kathryn turned to the young ensign who stood beside her. "Harry, you played beautifully. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Captain. I enjoyed it. It was an honor."

Tom elbowed him in the ribs. "An honor?" he mouthed, with a roll of his eyes. He was always teasing Harry for currying favor with the captain.

Harry gave him a sharp look to silence him. But then he smiled. He knew Tom was just teasing.

"So, Captain, does this mean that you'll take Commander Chakotay's name?"

All eyes turned toward Kes. The young woman looked back innocently. She felt the weight of their combined stares.

"Well...I...I've been accessing data on Earth's wedding customs, and one of the files mentioned that, in the past, women have taken their husband's name. I know it's voluntary, but I..." Her voice trailed off.

And the captain smiled. "It's a perfectly acceptable question, Kes. But...I think I'll keep Janeway. I've grown awfully used to it. And besides, Commander Chakotay doesn't have a last name to spare." Her eyes gazed over at him.

"Well, I do have another tribal name, but it's long and hard to pronounce," he explained.

Kathryn's eyes narrowed. "You've never told me about another name."

"You've never asked," he replied with what she'd come to regard as his 'Native American composure.'

"Thus it begins," the Doctor spoke, "the minutiae of a married couple. The bits and pieces of information shared and unshared. The interesting facts, the discoveries, the unknown territory of partnership. The surprising details of—" He stopped, realizing that eyes that had once been focused upon Kes, were now staring at him. He swallowed. "Janeway is a very nice name," he said succinctly.

And Kathryn glanced down at the ground for a moment, forcing herself not to laugh. But she smiled, rather broadly, and looked up at the Doctor. "Yes, it is. And speaking of names, Doctor..."

~vVv~

"How did you know that this is where I wanted to spend our honeymoon?" Kathryn turned around slowly in the gathering darkness, her eyes taking in the view.

They were alone now. In their own holodeck version of New Earth.

Chakotay moved closer to her and took her in his arms. "I just knew." A sly grin crossed his face. "Much nicer than the bathroom."

Kathryn gazed up at him, smiling at the memory. "Well, more space, at least." She wrapped her arms around him as well, feeling the ripple of muscles along his back. He'd taken his dress coat off and was wearing only a black T-shirt. "It's amazing, Chakotay. It looks just like it."

He nodded. "Harry helped. He's a talented young man."

"Yes, he is." She ran a finger along his cheek. "And so are you." There was a definite double meaning to her words.

Chakotay smiled at the compliment, but depreciated its validity at the same time. "I'm afraid I don't fall into the 'young man' category anymore," he replied.

"What?" Kathryn raised her eyebrows. "Are you saying we're middle-aged?"

He shook his head. "I'm just speaking for myself."

"No." Kathryn placed her palms against his cheeks, holding his face steady. "In the grand scheme of life, we're still young." She laughed slightly. "Harry's just a lot younger."

Chakotay drew her closer, and she dropped her hands, rested them on his shoulders.

"Computer, Music Program Chakotay Three," he said quietly, and soft strains of jazz filled the night air.

"That's nice," Kathryn murmured, leaning her head against his chest as they moved to the gentle rhythm.

She felt Chakotay's chest rise and fall in a deep, contented breath.

"I love you," he whispered.

She rubbed her fingers over his chest, her hand lingering over the comforting beat of his heart. "I love you." She looked up and he lowered his head, his lips covering hers.

A moment later, he gently swept her up into his arms and carried her into the house that had been their home.

~vVv~

Chakotay lay on his side, his body curled around Kathryn's, his breathing slowing to an even pace, as was the beating of his heart. In the darkness, he felt her shiver beside him, and he reached down and pulled a blanket over them, his own bare skin suddenly cool in the aftermath of their lovemaking.

Gently, he kissed the back of her neck, felt another shiver trace along her spine. He rubbed his hands over her arms and hips, then across her stomach. Kathryn pushed back closer into his embrace, covering his hands with hers.

"Are you warm enough?" he whispered, nuzzling his lips against her ear.

"Um-um," she murmured in response.

Silent minutes followed and yet Chakotay knew she wasn't asleep.

"You're awfully quiet..."

"Just... thinking."

"Oh," he breathed, kissing her neck again. "About..."

"Us." She pressed his hands closer to her stomach. "All of us." She gave a soft laugh. "Do we tell her someday that she came on our honeymoon with us?"

Chakotay smiled into Kathryn's hair. "If she's any good at math, she'll eventually figure it out."

"Oh, she'll be good at math," Kathryn declared, a note of conviction in her voice. "And science. And she'll pilot a shuttle by the time she's six."

"Six!"

"Um-um. You'll teach her. And Tom. And we'll get Harry to teach her how to play the clarinet."

Chakotay shifted lower, kissing Kathryn on the shoulder. "And Neelix will teach her how to cook," he offered, joining in with her plans for their daughter. "And B'Elanna will teach her everything there is to know about engineering."

"That's the idea," Kathryn said. "And Kes can teach her how to garden, and Tuvok...well, he'll teach her something logical, I'm sure."

Chakotay pulled her even closer in his arms. "And what will you teach her?"

"How to command a starship, of course."

And Chakotay laughed. "Of course."

~vVv~


	14. Chapter 14

The next month flew by, almost at warp speed, or so it seemed. Their lives fell into comfortable patterns: waking early, having breakfast, going to the bridge together. Spending quiet evenings in their quarters, or sometimes eating dinner with friends. They returned to Sandrine's a couple of times. Thankfully, Tom had re-written the program so that none of the holographic characters remembered Chakotay's stag party.

Chakotay insisted that they share the same duty schedule. Kathryn accused him of being too over-protective, and he readily admitted to it. Until the baby came, he wanted to be near her.

"How are the Engineering diagnostics coming along?" Kathryn inquired, glancing up from the desk computer in her ready room.

"B'Elanna reports that everything is falling within expected parameters. Lieutenant Carey says that the efficiency results are up three percent."

Kathryn smiled at him. "B'Elanna didn't mention that."

He shook his head. "No. You know B'Elanna. She doesn't like to brag."

"Speaking of bragging, Commander, your crew evaluations were quite complete. I'm impressed. Lieutenant Tuvok's Academy refresher courses are working wonders for several of the crew."

"They are. As you can see, we've even got some Starfleet personnel involved."

Kathryn sat back in her chair. "Tuvok told me that you asked to join one of his classes."

"Yes, I did."

She nodded toward the chair in front of her desk. "Sit down. I want to talk."

"Kathryn, we are talking."

"As Captain to First Officer. I want to talk to you as wife to husband."

He nodded and grinned. "I see. I need to sit down for this. I must be in trouble." He took a seat in the chair she'd indicated.

"You're not in trouble," Kathryn smiled. "Although I did find your bath towel on the floor again this morning. Try to do better, Commander."

"Yes, ma'am. Now...what does my wife want to talk to me about?"

"Why do you want to join Tuvok's class?"

He shrugged. "I thought I could use a little refreshing on Starfleet procedures myself."

"Chakotay, you're a wonderful first officer."

"I'm not doubting that, but Kathryn, there are still times when...I find myself doing something...the Maquis way. Or thinking through a problem using Maquis logic. And that won't always work on this ship."

"Because I won't let it work?" she asked carefully.

"No. That's not it. In fact, you're very fair minded. You give equal consideration to both Starfleet and Maquis solutions."

"Those Maquis solutions are the reason why Engineering's efficiency rating is up three percent."

"Probably so," Chakotay agreed. "That, and the noses B'Elanna breaks."

Kathryn leaned forward, propping her elbows on her desk. "Chakotay, I know that we have worked hard to make this...one crew. A Starfleet crew. But I don't want you, or anyone else, to feel that they have to...stop being a Maquis."

"I don't feel that way, Kathryn." He pressed his lips together in a tight line, and then relaxed them. "Some of us still do...the younger ones. They bristle under Tuvok's guidance, but they come away better crew members...and better friends." He sighed. "We spent a long time on that planet...some days I just feel...a little rusty. I thought Tuvok's classes might help."

Kathryn smiled and stood up. Chakotay stood also and met her as she came around the edge of her desk.

"If you're sure that's all it is?" she asked, reaching out and taking his hands.

He gave her a slight shake of his head. "I'm sure."

"All right." The tone of her voice changed and with a firm squeeze she dropped his hands. "I suggest you get back to work then, Commander. Dismissed."

"Aye-aye." Chakotay stepped toward the door. "Oh," he paused, "and by the way, when you said I was a wonderful first officer... I forgot to tell you... you're a hell of a captain!"

~vVv~

At first, she thought it had to be the Tresolian scrambled eggs she'd had for breakfast. Or maybe the Opakan guava juice. But as the cramping in her stomach increased, she realized that it was neither. She sat in her command chair on the bridge, and realized that the pains were coming every twenty minutes, and that could only mean one thing.

She glanced to her left. Chakotay was there, his eyes scanning the command console next to his chair. So far, he hadn't noticed her discomfort. But the pains were getting worse. And she was worried. If it was time, it was too early. She still had two more weeks. Maybe it _was _just Neelix"s cooking.

She suddenly felt another cramp run through her stomach and along her lower back. And she stiffened. This one had caught her by surprise.

And Chakotay just happened to be looking up at that exact moment. He saw the rigid set of her jaw, the tension in her upper body. He leaned toward her.

"Kathryn?" he asked, speaking softly, placing his hand on the arm of her chair.

She shook her head slightly. "I'm fine." There was the pain again, and she drew in a sharp breath, her hand instinctively closing around his, fingers tightening.

"No you're not," he disagreed, worry tingeing his voice. "Is it the baby?"

She swallowed nervously, seeing that members of the bridge crew were becoming aware of her hushed conversation with Chakotay. She shook her head again. "It's too soon."

"We'll let the Doctor decide whether it's too soon or not," he replied, standing up. "Tuvok," he looked over at the Vulcan's station, "you have the bridge." He pulled Kathryn to her feet. "The captain and I will be in Sickbay."

"Yes, Commander," Tuvok answered.

Kathryn sighed and glanced around the bridge. She didn't know what to say in a situation like this, so she said nothing, and simply allowed Chakotay to lead her into the turbolift.

As soon as the doors slid closed, Tom looked up from his console. "So, anybody want to place a bet on the actual time of birth?"

~vVv~

"You are having a baby," the Doctor stated.

Kathryn glanced from the Doctor to Kes to Chakotay and back to the Doctor. "I can't be. It's too soon."

"'The baby is two weeks premature, but it is not too soon. You are definitely in labor."

Kathryn looked up at Chakotay. He stood beside her, holding her hand. The usual calm, steady expression on his face had been replaced with one of confusion. His eyes were wide, lines creased his forehead, and a fine sheen of perspiration covered his skin.

_Oh, great, _Kathryn thought, _when I need him the most he's going to fold on me._

But he didn't. Within a few seconds, he pulled himself together, his hand strengthening around hers. He looked down at her. "It's going to be all right, Kathryn. You're in good hands."

"Yes," the Doctor agreed, "you are in excellent hands. Mine."

~vVv~

It wasn't a very long labor, and the Doctor administered pain suppressants, but still, by the time the baby actually arrived, Kathryn was physically and mentally exhausted.

"Just one more push," the Doctor instructed. His voice had been calm and evenly modulated throughout the entire procedure.

Kathryn gasped and her eyes darted back and forth between Chakotay and Kes. They stood on either side of her, each holding a hand. Chakotay tenderly ran a damp cloth over her cheeks and forehead.

He leaned closer, his head almost even with hers. "You can do it, Kathryn. Just one more push." She felt tears on her face. It didn't hurt, but she was so tired.

She stared at Chakotay. She'd heard of women who got angry with their husbands in the middle of labor, blamed them for putting them in the situation to begin with. But she wasn't angry with him; she couldn't be. The concentrated, caring expression on his face was too gentle and sincere to ever invoke anger.

"Come on now," he coached, one arm holding her by the shoulders and lifting her slightly. "Push."

Kathryn drew in a deep breath, and gripping his hand tighter, she gave one final push, using all of her strength and willpower. A moment later, a loud cry filled the room.

"You have a daughter," the Doctor announced.

Kes stepped away to help him with the baby, and Kathryn fell back, relaxing in Chakotay's arms. He was smiling at her, blinking through the tears that filled his eyes.

"You did it." He swallowed around the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "I knew you could."

She brushed her hand over his face, her fingers tracing along his lips. They trembled at her touch, as tears silently trailed down his cheeks. "We did it," she whispered, knowing that without him she would have never survived the last year and a half, let alone the last nine months.

Chakotay pressed his lips to her forehead and held her tightly. They looked down at Kes and the Doctor, trying to see the baby.

"How... how is she?" Kathryn asked over the sound of the baby's crying.

The Doctor stepped back to the head of the biobed. "She's just fine. Small, but healthy."

Kes brought the baby to them, wrapped in a blanket. "She's beautiful, Captain...Commander." She smiled at them and placed the baby on the bed beside Kathryn.

Chakotay's hand covered the small bundle as Kathryn drew back the edge of the blanket. Grey eyes blinked up at her, the loud cries trailing off into a whimper.

"Oh, you are beautiful," Kathryn breathed, touching the small hands. Tiny fingers flexed and grasped.

"Just like her mother," Chakotay agreed, leaning over and kissing Kathryn on the forehead again.

"She is a fine baby," the Doctor said.

Kes frowned slightly. "Is that all you can say, Doctor?"

The hologram stared at his assistant, and then offered another observation. "She has a good set of lungs."

Kes shook her head. Sometimes she thought that the Doctor's bedside manner was hopeless. She returned her gaze to the new parents. "What are you going to name her?"

"We haven't decided. We wanted to meet her first." Kathryn looked up at Chakotay. "Any suggestions?"

Chakotay gently ran a finger over his daughter's cheek. "I'm still thinking."

~vVv~

Chakotay went to announce the birth of their daughter to the crew, and Kathryn was content to sit propped up on the biobed simply holding the infant. She was perfect. Ten fingers, ten toes. Dark hair like her father's, grey eyes, a tiny nose. Kathryn couldn't believe that she'd actually thought about not having this baby. She traced her fingers over the soft hair and a small ear.

"You need a name," she whispered, and the baby seemed to stare up at her in agreement. "But, we'll have to wait until your father comes back."

A half hour later, Chakotay returned.

"What took you so long?" Kathryn exclaimed quietly as he crossed Sickbay. "I thought you were just going to tell the bridge and let Tuvok announce it to the rest of the crew."

"All the crew knows," he informed her, gently lifting the baby from her arms. He cradled her to his chest, and Kathryn was reminded of the way he held his medicine bundle.

"Did you tell them one at time?" she teased.

But he didn't smile. "Almost. Tom helped."

Kathryn frowned. "I'm sure Tom was busy collecting bets. Despite our certainty that she was a girl, I heard through the ship's grapevine that odds were three to one on a boy."

Chakotay gazed down at the baby nestled in the crook of his arm, his free hand pushing back the blanket to get a better look at his daughter. "Well, we were collecting something, sort of. But it wasn't bets." He lifted the baby and kissed the top of her head, her soft hair tickling his lips. He smiled.

Kathryn's curiosity was growing and she was a bit worried. She remembered the last time Chakotay and Tom had been up to something. "What exactly were you doing?" she asked when a further explanation wasn't forthcoming.

Chakotay looked up from the baby and answered casually. "Collecting votes."

"Votes?" She wasn't sure she'd heard correctly.

But he nodded. "That's right. I had the crew vote on a name for our daughter."

Kathryn's eyes widened. "You voted on a name?"

"We did. And we came up with a really good one." He winked down at the bundle he held. "Yes, we did," he cooed to the baby.

He was pleased with himself. She recognized the signs. But still...voting? It didn't seem like something he would do. Tom Paris...yes. Chakotay...

"A beautiful name for a beautiful little girl," Chakotay continued his baby talk.

And Kathryn sighed. She hated to interrupt a conversation between father and daughter, but she wanted some answers. "I know we talked about waiting to meet her before we gave her a name, but...I don't understand. Voting? On your child's name? That doesn't sound like you, Chakotay."

He looked up with an apologetic expression. "I know. But...it was the only way Tom and I could think of doing it." He knew she was still confused. "Don't you see? Her name is a gift from her tribe."

And suddenly Kathryn realized what he'd done. And she loved him for it. "Her tribe...the crew of _Voyager_?"

"Um-um." Chakotay rocked the baby in his arms. "She's not Starfleet or Maquis. She's both. One crew...one tribe."

Kathryn reached out and touched his arm, fingers closing around the sleeve of his uniform, drawing him closer to her. "Our tribe?"

He smiled. "Our tribe."

She held his gaze for a long moment, and then, when she felt tears threaten to spill over onto her cheeks, she blinked them away and returned his smile. "So, what name did they give her?"

"I think you'll like it." He leaned over and presented the baby to her mother. "Kathryn...say hello to Katie."

"Chakotay..." She started to protest. She'd never considered naming her daughter after herself.

But he shook his head. "Sorry. No arguing with the tribe."

~vVv~


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's Notes:** I've really enjoyed posting my first story. The positive reviews have been very encouraging and much appreciated!Thanks for reading! JT

For almost an hour, it felt like a party. Friends gathered around, everyone talking at once. But now, it almost felt like a meeting in the conference room. Almost, but not quite. Kathryn sat in the middle of their quarters with her senior officers silently circled around her. But unlike a meeting, no one's attention was focused on the captain. Instead, all eyes watched as Chakotay walked out of the bedroom carrying their baby daughter.

"Oh, she gets more adorable every time I see her," Neelix said with delight as he paced alongside the first officer. "Why she is the very image of you, Captain." He glanced over at Kathryn. "And you, too, Commander. Look at that hair."

Chakotay grinned. "She does have a lot of it." He stepped over to the sofa and Tom scooted over, making room for him.

"She is lovely," the pilot said as Chakotay sat down.

The commander cut his eyes at the man. "Just keep your distance, Paris, she's too young for you," he joked.

"Yeah. Now. But not by the time we make it home."

They all laughed, and Kathryn looked over at him. "Tom, I plan on getting us home long before she's old enough to date."

"Commander," Kes leaned over from her chair. "Would you mind if I held her?"

"Of course not. Seeing that you held her before I ever did." He handed the baby to her.

"Oh, my dearest, you look wonderful with a baby," Neelix sighed. "I can't wait until it's our turn."

Kes smiled at him. "At least another year, Neelix."

Harry was sitting in a chair next to Kes and he leaned over and took a closer look at the baby. "She really is small," he commented, and then quickly glanced at Kathryn. "I mean...she's not...too small...ma'am... I mean, Captain."

"At ease, Mister Kim," Kathryn said, trying to hide her amusement. There were times when Harry was just as young and nervous as he had been three years ago. "She is small. But...she'll grow." Kathryn shifted her eyes to the chair opposite her. Tuvok had not commented on the baby, and she was curious to know his thoughts.

Seeing his captain's gaze focused on him, Tuvok straightened even more in his chair, a movement virtually imperceptible to the other crew members present, but Kathryn had spent many years studying her friend's reactions.

"Congratulations, Captain, Commander. She promises to be an exceptional baby."

Kathryn pulled her head back in surprise, her eyes growing wide with disbelief. She'd been expecting Tuvok to proclaim their child acceptable or adequate, but not exceptional.

"That's...very high praise coming from you, Tuvok." Chakotay said, somewhat bluntly. He didn't mean to sound offensive, but there was an edge to the statement.

Kathryn glanced over at her husband. There was still a slight undercurrent of tension between Chakotay and the Vulcan. But, they had forged a successful working relationship. And a fairly good friendship as well.

Tuvok, of course, took no offense at Chakotay's remark. "It is logical, Commander, that with you as her father, and the captain as her mother, Katie does promise to be an exceptional baby and child."

Chakotay smiled. "Thank you. I think you've just complimented our entire family."

Tuvok inclined his head. "You are welcome, Commander."

Kathryn just smiled at her security chief. And she saw the look in his eyes that acknowledged her silent gratitude.

"Okay, it's my turn to hold the baby," Tom announced, standing up and reaching toward Kes. He cut his eyes back to Chakotay. "That is...if it's all right?"

Chakotay narrowed his eyes and twisted his mouth in consideration.

"Of course, you can hold her, Tom," Kathryn assured.

Kes held the baby out to him, but still he hesitated.

"Just don't drop her," Chakotay said, a grin pulling at the comers of his lips.

Tom took the infant and settled back on to the sofa. "Don't drop the baby," he sighed, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling. "He tells the best pilot on the ship not to drop the baby."

"Well, you're certainly not the most humble pilot," Chakotay laughed.

Tom ignored the remark and looked down at the baby. "I wouldn't drop you, Little Lady. You're safe with your Uncle Tommy."

"Uncle Tommy?" B'Elanna coughed. She was sitting beside Tom, on the opposite end of the sofa from Chakotay. She'd been noticeably silent up until now.

"Sure...every kid needs an Uncle Tommy."

"Like a phaser blast to the head," B'Elanna shot back.

"Don't pay any attention to her, Miss Katie. We'll keep her way down in Engineering while we're busy flying the ship. Yes, we will." He grinned. "I think she likes that idea; she just smiled at me."

B'Elanna groaned, and Chakotay laughed.

"I hate to disappoint you, Tom, but newborns don't smile," Kathryn said.

"The captain is correct," Tuvok stipulated. "What appears to be a smile is simply a random movement of the mouth and carries no emotional significance."

"You can say what you like, but...she smiled at me." He gazed back at the baby. "They just don't understand, do they, Katie? They're just jealous of our relationship." He expertly turned her in his arms and positioned her on his shoulder, his hand patting her back.

"Tom, you look like you've been around babies before," Kathryn observed, watching how easily he handled her daughter. "We may need your services as a baby-sitter."

Tom abruptly stopped patting the baby's back, and his mouth fell open slightly.

"There you go, Tom. Something for you to do on a Saturday night," Harry teased, glancing over at him. "I'm sure he would be...honored, Captain."

"Well, of course, I would, but I... Well..." He pulled the baby away from his shoulder. "I really think Aunt B'Elanna would be a wonderful baby-sitter," he suggested, handing the baby to the engineer.

B'Elanna found the baby in her hands before she realized it, and she gave Tom a withering look. She'd never been very good with babies; they were too small and delicate, and she felt clumsy around them. She could work an engineering console with practiced ease, but holding an infant was an unfamiliar experience.

She looked over at Chakotay. And he smiled, nodding his head with silent assurance. He was always confident of her abilities.

B'Elanna relaxed slightly and held the baby closer to her chest.

"I take it you have better things to do with your Saturday nights, Mister Paris?" Kathryn surmised.

"Believe me..." Tom shook his head. "You don't want me as a baby-sitter. I'd...fill her with junk food and keep her up past her bedtime."

"Don't worry," Chakotay said wryly, glancing in his direction, "you were never a serious option."

Tom feigned a hurt expression, and Kathryn smiled.

"I'd love to take care of her, Captain," Kes offered.

Kathryn nodded. "I was hoping you would."

"Oh, my Kes is a wonderful baby-sitter," Neelix enthused. "Why Ensign Wildman's little girl just loves it when we visit."

"I've...done some baby-sitting before," Harry spoke up, "I'd be more than willing to look after her."

"As would I," Tuvok said.

Chakotay looked over at B'Elanna. "How about you, B'Elanna?

She didn't answer. Her head was bent, and she was gazing down at the baby she held, gently rocking her in her arms. A few moments passed, and then B'Elanna looked up, realizing that there was a lull in the conversation. All eyes were on her.

"What?" she asked, her tone slightly defensive.

"Chakotay just asked if you'd be interested in baby-sitting." Kathryn answered, and was pleased when B'Elanna visibly relaxed.

The engineer shook her head. "Thanks, but I wouldn't be very good."

"I don't know," Chakotay smiled. "You're not doing a bad job right now." From where he was sitting, he could see that the baby's eyes had closed and she was drifting off to sleep.

"Oh, that's not skill, Chakotay," Tom quipped, "that's just B'Elanna's personality. Last night at Sandrine's, she almost put one of the holograms to sleep explaining the new improvements to the propulsion system."

Even with the baby in her arms, B'Elanna managed to dig an elbow into Tom's chest. "Watch it, fly boy," she grimaced.

"Ow..." Tom scowled. "What is it? Between you and Harry I'm not going to have a rib left that's not broken."

Tuvok looked over at the pilot. "As you are fond of 'old sayings,' Lieutenant, there is an ancient one that states: You reap what you sow."

Tom's scowl deepened into a frown. "Very funny, Tuvok."

"I was not attempting to be humorous."

Tom's frown upturned into a smile. "Have you _ever_ attempted to be humorous?"

Tuvok glanced down at the coffee table, then back up. "Not that I can recall."

At that moment, Kathryn yawned. She tried to suppress it, or at least hide it behind her hand. It wasn't that the conversation wasn't entertaining, just the opposite. She loved visiting with her crew informally, but it had been another long day.

"My, my, my look at the time," Neelix exclaimed, although he had no chronometer; he was merely using the figure of speech to rouse the assembly into action. "It is getting late."

"No..." Kathryn said.

"I hate to differ with you, Captain, but it is," the Talaxian insisted.

Around her, they rose to their feet.

"Neelix is correct, Captain," Tuvok said. "It is late."

"And I have to go practice my clarinet before I go to bed," Harry explained.

"And I was going to listen," Tom added.

Harry stared at him. "You were?"

"Sure I was, Harry. You know me, I love classical music."

Harry shook his head. "No, you don't."

"Harry..." Tom clapped his arm around the ensign's shoulders and directed him toward the door that slid open in front of them. "Goodnight Captain, Commander. Great party." And Tom left, literally dragging Harry along behind him.

"Thank you," the young ensign called back.

"We had a very nice time," Kes said as she and Neelix stepped through the door.

"Yes, yes, a wonderful time," Neelix agreed. "Thank you for inviting us."

"You're more than welcome," Kathryn replied.

"I also appreciate the evening," Tuvok informed them as he followed Kes and Neelix into the corridor.

"And we're glad you were here," Kathryn said, smiling up at her old friend. "The party wouldn't be complete without you."

"Goodnight, Tuvok, Kes, Neelix," Chakotay stood in the doorway, waving down the corridor.

Kathryn laughed softly and leaned toward him. "Aren't you supposed to say 'ya'll come back now'?"

He grinned at her. "My tribe's originally from the Southwestern part of North America, not the Southeastern."

"I believe this one stays here," B'Elanna said, walking up behind them.

They turned and she handed the baby to Chakotay.

He nodded as he tucked his daughter into the crook of his arm. "Yes, she does. We've already gotten attached to her."

"Thank you for inviting me." B'Elanna raised her hand and Kathryn noticed that she was holding a brightly colored gift bag. "This is for Katie. I know several of the others brought gifts earlier, but I... Well, I just finished this last night."

Kathryn took the gift and reached inside. She pulled out a pale yellow blanket. "B'Elanna...this is beautiful. You knitted it yourself?"

B'Elanna nodded, and Chakotay saw her cheeks flush slightly with embarrassment. This was a side of B'Elanna that he'd rarely seen.

"I didn't know you knitted," he said with surprise.

"Not many people do." She shook her head. "I haven't made anything in quite a while. You don't really have time to knit when you're fighting Cardassians or...running an engine room. But I...I wanted to give something to the baby."

Kathryn reached out and took B'Elanna's hand in hers. "Well, this is something special. Thank you, B'Elanna."

"You're welcome."

"And you know when my birthday is...I'll be expecting a sweater." Chakotay patted her on the shoulder. "Perhaps a nice shade of red with black stripes. Something to match my uniform."

B'Elanna rolled her eyes at him. "Don't hold your breath, old man," she sighed and disappeared into the corridor.

"All right... Maybe just a scarf," he called after her.

"Give it up, Chakotay," Kathryn said, taking the baby from his arms. "If she hasn't knitted you a sweater by now, I don't think she ever will."

~vVv~

"Guess who's awake?"

Kathryn looked up from the data padd she held in her hands. Chakotay stood in the doorway to their bedroom. He was barefoot and dressed in a pair of pajamas, a tan shirt and shorts. He held the baby, wrapped in the yellow blanket that B'Elanna had given her, close to his chest. Across his face was a boyish grin.

Kathryn sighed. "Did you wake her up on purpose just so you could play with her?"

"Of course not," Chakotay defended himself as he padded across the room. "I just peeked into her cradle and found her mother's grey eyes looking back at me."

"Really?" She looked at him doubtfully.

"Scout's honor," Chakotay laughed softly as he settled onto the sofa beside Kathryn. "And that means a lot coming from a Native American." He propped his feet on the edge of the coffee table. "Can I help it if she's a little night owl?"

"I didn't hear her cry."

"That's because she's a good girl," he said as he laid the baby on his lap and along his thighs, her head resting against his knees. Carefully, he pulled the blanket away from her so that she could move her arms and legs.

"Since she wasn't crying, you could have left her there and let her go back to sleep. After all, it is after midnight."

Chakotay glanced over at her, his eyebrows arched in surprise. "Look who's talking about sleep! You ran everybody out of here earlier this evening with that yawn of yours, and you're still awake."

"So are you."

Chakotay looked down at their daughter, her eyes wide and alert. "I guess it runs in the family."

"I guess so, but I have an excuse," Kathryn explained. "I have some reports to look over."

"And I have a baby to play with."

Kathryn sighed again, and setting the data padd aside, she snuggled closer to Chakotay's shoulder. "You're like a little boy with a new toy," she teased.

"A new doll," he corrected.

Kathryn gently ran her fingers over the baby's face. "She is a doll, isn't she?"

Chakotay nodded. "A beautiful doll. Just like her mother."

Kathryn smiled, her finger tracing over a tiny, delicate eyebrow. "You know, it sounds silly, but I half expected her to have a little tattoo right here."

Chakotay shook his head. "Tattoos are optional. We're not born with them."

"I know. But she is definitely her father's daughter." Kathryn's hand brushed over the baby's thick, dark hair.

"With her mother's eyes and nose," he reminded her.

"And her father's lips."

Chakotay turned his head and rested his forehead against Kathryn's, and then he kissed her. "We make beautiful babies, Captain."

She smiled. "Yes, we do, Commander."

Chakotay pulled his head back and returned his gaze to the baby in his lap. He lifted her tiny feet in one hand and pressed them to his lips, kissing the soft soles. "She's perfect."

Kathryn laughed. "I'm going to have to watch you, or you're going to spoil her."

"I'm planning on it." He grinned, and then his expression grew serious.

Kathryn rubbed her hand along his shoulder. "Chakotay?"

"Do you..."

She saw the muscles in his throat and along his jaw convulse; she closed her hand on his shoulder.

He swallowed and his tongue rubbed over his lower lip. "Do you...have any regrets?"

"Oh, no," she breathed, reaching out and taking his chin between her fingers. She turned his face back to hers and saw the glint of tears in his eyes. "I love you. And I love our Katie. I have no regrets." She smoothed her hand along his cheek. "And even though I plan on keeping _Voyager _on course for the Alpha Quadrant, as far as I'm concerned, I am already home."

He blinked and swallowed again. "I..." He let out a heavy breath. "I was home the moment I laid eyes on you."

She ran her fingers through his close cropped hair; she loved the bristly texture of it. Almost as much as she loved him. "My angry warrior." She smiled.

He shook his head. "I haven't felt angry in a long time."

"I know." She laid her head against his shoulder. "I love you, Chakotay."

He drew one hand away from the baby, and touched his fingers to Kathryn's cheek, holding the two most important people in his life close to him. "And I love you...Katie's mother."

~The End~


End file.
